Turnabout is Fair Play
by Neiths Arrow
Summary: The SGC has an interesting visitor and must thwart the efforts of an old foe.
1. Part 1

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Spoilers: Everything up to Season 7

Pairing: Hint of J/S

Category: Action-Adventure / AU / Humor

Rating: T

Summary: The SGC has an interesting visitor and must thwart the efforts of an old foe.

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland. I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

Author's Note: I want to thank Diane for her work as a beta – not only did she correct my grammatical errors, but she gave me the confidence and encouragement to complete this story, which started in May 2005. Any negative feedback is strictly mine to bear, but I'll gladly share any positive feedback (hint).

--------------------------

Scene 1 – The cyclist

After cresting the hill, the cyclist pulled over to the roadside for a short break in the shade of pine trees. He pulled his road bicycle off the shoulder, sat on a felled log, and released a reverent sigh. The stillness of the forest sank into his being. Various bird sounds and the rustle of brush interrupted the whisper-quiet sound of wind through overhead branches as unseen forest critters went about their business. He needed this break before continuing to train for the upcoming endurance trial. He had already trained for three months and the event was in a couple of days. If only his knee would hold out. He stared at the surgery scars and fingered them absently. Despite various injuries, he was determined to remain active. This extended vacation was about to end and he was due to return to work two days after the event. He had no current injuries that would affect his performance; he was healthy and ready for this endurance trial. With determination, the tall man got up, returned to the road, and began pedaling to his destination.

Scene 2 – Thor's visit

The gateroom at the SGC was bustling with activity. Ten minutes before SG-1 was due to depart on another mission, two SG teams busied the gate with their unscheduled arrival. Severe planetary weather changes had caused their return. Medical personnel assembled at the gate to assess the returning teams. The teams' hastily gathered survey equipment also cluttered the gateroom. Sergeant Siler was in the middle of organizing a crew to remove the clutter while the medical team escorted both the injured and their teammates to the infirmary. After the last piece of equipment went out the door, Colonel Jack O'Neill, team leader of SG-1, led his team from the observation deck to the gateroom below. Just as he was about to give the command to dial the coordinates for their destination, a column of glowing light appeared at the top of the ramp. A small, greyish figure appeared.

"Thor, buddy! To what do we owe this honor?" O'Neill smirked as he called out to the little grey alien.

The Asgard Supreme Commander walked awkwardly down the ramp to look up at his friend. "O'Neill. The Asgard again need your assistance."

Major Carter broke the stunned silence around the conference table. "You mean Loki escaped from your custody and is planning to steal Colonel O'Neill's DNA again?"

"Yes, Major Carter. I believe that is what I just said." Thor's enormous eyes blinked at the intense faces around the table.

Daniel pursed his lips thoughtfully, "But I thought you had modified Jack's DNA so it couldn't be duplicated?"

"Yeah! What he said." O'Neill rubbed the top of his head vigorously in aggravation. "There isn't going to be another kid running around saying he's me . . . is there?"

Thor took the question seriously. "No. Loki knows it would not be beneficial to abduct O'Neill from this reality. He is planning to harvest DNA from O'Neill in an alternate reality."

Hammond piped in, "Couldn't you just alter that DNA as well?"

After a quick glance at Thor, Carter hesitantly supplied, "Sir, . . . there are an infinite number of realities. The Asgard couldn't possibly change all the . . . O'Neills out there."

"That is correct Major Carter. However, we are not concerned with the infinite number of realities. We already know which reality will be used. We have placed a permanent tracking device on Loki and were alerted to his destination through a . . . reality interface detector."

Carter's eyes rose in excitement, "You mean you have the ability to pass the barrier between realities in order to . . ."

"I hate to interrupt your information extravaganza Carter, . . ." O'Neill looked pointedly at her, "but we do have a deadline as Thor mentioned earlier." He punctuated his reminder with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, O'Neill. Apparently, the alternate O'Neill, or O'Neill A, is to be kidnapped during a specific five of your Earth days. Because we do not want to risk his capture, you O'Neill will need to take his place and be abducted by Loki instead. At that time, we will be alerted and will return Loki to captivity. We have a short time to convince the alternate O'Neill to help us."

"Why would he not do so of his free will?" Teal'c boomed in puzzlement.

Thor suddenly cocked his head to listen to some silent communication. He raised his eye ridges and got to his feet. "We must get to the gateroom quickly. He will be here soon."

"Who will be here soon?" Hammond demanded to Thor's retreating back. Hammond shook his head in resignation at his loss of control. "Dismissed." The room quickly emptied after the alien as he ambled down to the gateroom. The General followed the group at a slower pace.

After they assembled in the gateroom, Thor calmly asked the observers to keep the entire ramp area clear. "There is a brief window of opportunity to bring him into this reality. Unfortunately, he is currently traveling at a high speed." This announcement was met with puzzlement.

Once again, a column of light appeared in the gateroom, but it was centered at the base of the ramp near the observation window. Suddenly, a bicyclist clad in peridot and black appeared captured by the light. He suddenly accelerated as his tires made contact with the floor. The observers stood back while he sped up the ramp. They could see the cyclist frantically apply his brakes. But, due to his speed, he flew through the circle of the gate and disappeared to the floor on the other side with a loud crash. The onlookers heard shouts of surprise and pain as they raced up the ramp. "Damn it, damn it! Oh Gawd!" The cyclist was rocking on the floor clutching his gashed knee between both hands; his feet were still solidly clipped into the bicycle pedals. "So much for no injuries. My doc is so gonna kill me."

Teal'c was the first one on the scene. "O'Neill. Are you injured."

The cyclist removed his sunglasses to look up incredulously at the brown face. The tone of his voice was sarcastic. "Do I look injured?" He frowned before shifting his brown-eyed gaze from the observers to the surrounding room, then to the backside of the gate. "What am I doing here? I was just on the road." His face went white as he looked up searchingly. "Did I hit my head? Maybe I don't remember. Are we in the middle of shooting. . . ?"

Teal'c abruptly reassured the new arrival, "We are not shooting anyone, O'Neill. We do not have weapons."

After glaring at Teal'c, the newcomer cautiously unclipped his feet from the pedals, gingerly extracted himself from the crash scene, and removed his helmet. "Very funny." After looking down at his bicycle, he groaned. "My bike! I was planning to use this one for the event!" The front, carbon-fiber fork was hopelessly broken and part of the front rim was bent perpendicular to the rest of the tire.

Thor pushed his way through the tall legs at the top of the ramp. "Do not worry O'Neill A. I will repair your vehicle as well as your knee." He jumped down to the stunned man and raised his palm, which was imbedded with a clear crystal. A white light emanated from the crystal and engulfed the bicycle; the warped fork and rim straightened while the flattened tire magically re-inflated. As the glow moved over the man, his leg wound closed and he looked up in wonder.

"The pain's gone! What? How?" O'Neill A moved over to the little alien. He ran his hand magically and symbolically over Thor's head without touching him. He walked behind Thor while methodically dragging his feet, and then he stared at Daniel Jackson intently. "Thor, where are we?"

Thor responded from behind, "We are at Stargate Command on your home planet."

While continuing to stare at Daniel, O'Neill A exclaimed, "How'd you throw your voice like that?"

Daniel looked at the empty space to his immediate left and right. Then he placed the palm of his hand against his chest. "Are you talking to me . . . uh, Jack?"

"Oh! For crying out loud. Will ya tell the man what's going on?" O'Neill stepped to the front of the crowd and sat in front of the cyclist while dangling his feet off the back edge of the Stargate platform.

The cyclist stood and stared at the man who possessed identical facial features. After a stunned pause, he smirked, "Oh, you're good. Where'd they find you?" His face broke into a big, uncharacteristic grin. "OK. You guys got me. Ya got me good. The joke's over now. How did you do . . ." he gestured around the room ". . . this? How did you get me here?"

O'Neill grabbed his counterpart by the shoulders and looked at him intently. "I know this is hard to believe, but you are now in an alternate reality. We aren't the people you know. This isn't your . . ." He pointed to the gate over their heads ". . . Stargate."

"I'll say." O'Neill A looked at his counterpart's face closely. "Uhm! Did you have plastic surgery? Or is it makeup?"

O'Neill kept his hands on the newcomer's shoulders, but turned his head to the side and growled, "Thor, can ya help us out here?"

Thor again raised his hand to the cyclist and enveloped his head in a glowing light. By the time the light stopped, O'Neill A had his eyebrows raised. He backed away from the Colonel, and his mouth dropped open in astonishment. "Oh my God! I need to sit down." He looked behind him and chose to lean against the wall instead. "Oh my God!"

"You said that already." Jack mumbled.

The cyclist grinned widely at the comment. "Colonel O'Neill, of course. Thor, Daniel Jackson, Samantha Carter." He saw O'Neill flinch. With a devilish look he said, "Don't worry. We're not interested in each other in my reality . . . not like when you met the Samantha with long hair."

Major Carter looked puzzled. "How can you know about that? . . . sir. Thor, did you transfer information about . . .? But . . . ." She trailed off – her eyes widened in thought. She pondered whether this O'Neill had visitors from the same alternate reality. But how could that Samantha have visited more than one reality? And if so, what were the odds that she would have visited the same reality as this new O'Neill? The possibilities were so mind boggling that she snapped her mouth closed and remained silent. Attention focused back on the visitor when it became apparent she had no further commentary.

"Oh, I know a lot about all of you." O'Neill A responded smugly.

"Indeed?" Teal'c raised his eyebrow and tilted his head questioningly.

"People, let's discuss this in a more private atmosphere. Colonel, would you escort . . . our guest to temporary quarters? Get him more . . . comfortable clothing, and then bring him to the conference room." The observers wondered if Hammond meant more 'comfortable' for the guest or for the observers; the tight cycling clothing left nothing to the imagination. Carter quickly wiped the grin off her face when her CO caught her staring at the thin, shimmery layer of cycling clothing on his double's body – it was apparent he was not wearing underwear. Daniel had one eyebrow raised at O'Neill's expense, but looked the other way when confronted by said Colonel.

Teal'c raised his head in stoic indifference.

The cyclist responded, "General Hammond, my name is…" But he was speaking to Hammond's rapidly retreating back, so he shrugged his shoulders without continuing the sentence.

Scene 3 – Not in the military

After letting the cyclist get more comfortable in some borrowed military clothing, they all assembled in the conference room. The guest O'Neill started walking toward his usual seat, but turned away after a glare from the native O'Neill and sat next to Major Carter instead. He pulled his chair back and looked under the table. "Hmm. Your table is in one solid piece."

Jack responded sarcastically, "Duh!"

Hammond pressed his lips together and glared at the Colonel in disapproval. "Let's get on with this, people."

Daniel looked over to O'Neill A, "What do we call you?"

Hammond at the same time asked, "What is your rank?"

The cyclist responded with a soft, nasal tone. "I'm not in the military, you can just call me…"

Major Carter spontaneously interrupted, "You're not in the military? Sir? Uh!" She looked rapidly from her CO to the newcomer and stopped in puzzlement.

The guest smiled in amusement. "No, I'm not. And please just call me . . . . Hey!" He turned startled, but intelligent eyes toward Carter, "What about entropic cascade failure? Will I have to go through that?"

Thor interrupted, "I have modified your physiology to avoid this experience. You will not be affected for five of your Earth days."

The guest nodded and visibly relaxed.

O'Neill impatiently tapped his fingers on the table in frustration and suspicion. "You say you aren't in the military. Yet you know about alternate realities and tropical …" He circled his flattened hand toward Major Carter.

"…entropic cascade failure, sir."

"What she said."

Their guest slightly clenched his jaw and with a deeper, gentler voice replied, "In my reality, I'm a scientist."

There were gasps of disbelief around the table. Thor raised an eyebrow, and O'Neill sat back with a horrified look on his face. The only one who didn't react was Daniel. He leveled a calm glare and said, "Jack 'A' . . . Hmmm! Somehow appropriate. You um . . . lie just like our Jack. So, what do you really do?" Daniel had become an expert on reading when his friend was being untruthful. Ever since Jack's undercover NID mission to recover stolen, alien technology, Daniel had studied his friend to prevent being fooled – or hurt – again.

O'Neill 'A' responded with a sideways smirk and then a good-natured laugh. "Hey, can ya blame me? You really are pretty sharp, Dr. Jackson."

Daniel raised a hand and grinned – already liking the man who looked like his best friend. "Please, just call me Daniel."

"You can call me Roc, as in Roc Flanders - actually, Rocco Flanders."

Samantha raised her eyebrows and asked the question that was on everyone's mind, "Your name isn't O'Neill?"

Flanders shook his head with a smile.

Colonel O'Neill turned to the Asgard Commander, "Thor, why do you call him O'Neill 'A'?"

The Asgard Supreme Commander looked stunned by the question as if the answer was obvious. "The 'A' is an abbreviated form of the term 'alternate.' Does not O'Neill use one-letter abbreviations rather than the full word when speaking? For instance, he has been observed shortening the name 'Teal'c' to 'T.' Did I not use this form of communication correctly, O'Neill?" He had the worried look of a tourist who has committed a faux pas but is not sure of the seriousness of the error.

O'Neill's face softened with a look typically reserved for children. "That was great, Thor. Ya just need to give us a little warning when you go all Earther on us." He paused to let the little alien absorb this information before asking, "But why did you call him O'Neill? His last name is Flanders."

Roc looked toward Thor and gave him a nod to proceed. "Colonel O'Neill, he is known as both Flanders and O'Neill." They all turned puzzled looks toward Roc.

The real O'Neill asked slowly and with the patience of a crouched tiger, "Would you care to explain?"

The guest looked around at the expectant faces. "Okaaayyy, but you aren't going to like this." He paused for effect. "I'm an actor on a television show called …"

Teal'c interrupted with a deep, disgusted tone, "Wormhole Extreme."

Roc gave a big, toothy grin as he shook his head, "…called Stargate SG-1."


	2. Part 2

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Email: Mid Season 7

Spoilers: Everything up to Season 7

Pairing: Hint of J/S

Category: Action-Adventure / AU / Humor

Rating: PG13

Archive: TBD

Summary: The SGC has an interesting visitor and must thwart the efforts of an old foe.

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland. I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

Author's Note: I want to thank Diane for her work as a beta – not only did she correct my grammatical errors, but she gave me the confidence and encouragement to complete this story, which started in May 2005. Any negative feedback is strictly mine to bear, but I'll gladly share any positive feedback (hint).

--------------------------

Scene 4 – Up to Speed

"OK. I know you guys didn't bring me /gestures/ here just to compare notes about television shows." He looked toward Sam and Daniel. "What's up?"

Daniel looked around before hesitantly answering, "Uh, obviously, we have some . . . similarities between our worlds if you know about Wormhole Extreme." Roc nodded. "Would you happen to remember a character named Loki?"

"Wasn't he the renegade Asgard who cloned O'Neill and tried to steal his DNA, but it was modified and the clone ended up being a . . . Mini Me O'Neill?" Multiple head nods confirmed his memory. "Nope, don't remember anything about him." He grinned at his own joke.

Thor's reedy voice continued, "He has escaped from our facility and we discovered that he plans to kidnap you. He wishes to steal your DNA in order to create a more biologically stable Asgard clone."

"Ah!" Flanders frowned in distaste. Samantha was just about to help him by explaining what this would mean when she was surprised by his next statement. "How do you know that I'm not already a clone of the original Flanders?" There was silence as the group pondered this possibility. In the past, when Loki 'borrowed' humans for his experiments, he replaced the original human with an identical clone.

With the patience used toward small children, Thor responded, "I scanned you for that reason when you first arrived here, Flanders. You are not a clone."

"Please, call me Roc." 

"Don't bother. I've been trying to have him call me Jack for years."

Thor ignored both comments. "We need your cooperation to capture Loki."

Flanders quickly responded, "Sure, what do I need to do?"

Scene 5 – The Plan

When they got to the part about Colonel O'Neill swapping places with Flanders, Roc gave a rich, hearty laugh. "You think he's going to pass for me?"

O'Neill had a hurt look on his face as he saw the agreement flash through the faces around him. Major Carter avoided his gaze. He indignantly replied, "I've infiltrated many places and assumed the identity of individuals in far more dangerous positions than a . . . /gestures with undisguised disgust/ . . . soft actor could possibly imagine."

Roc raised his eyebrows and mouthed a silent, 'Oh!' at the challenge. "Have you ever appeared on national television with a talk-show host asking about your sex life . . . and whether you've cheated on your wife with your male costar?" He paused for effect and wasn't disappointed by O'Neill's appalled expression. "Have you ever ridden 200 miles on a bicycle? Have you ever had to act . . . like . . . yourself in front of a camera?" He paused and dismissed his last statement with his hand. "Bad example." Sam and Daniel barely hid their amusement at the familiar mannerisms.

"For crying out loud! It's just a couple of days. How bad can it be?"

Roc grinned. "You think you lead an active life. I have a double century . . . uh . . . a 200-mile cycling event the day after tomorrow. After driving all night to get home, I get a partial night's sleep. Then I hop a plane to Vancouver to meet up with my trailer for a multi-day, location shoot.

Thor piped in, "Please explain 'location shoot.'"

Flanders's grin widened, "We're in the middle of filming or shooting Stargate SG-1 in a remote area. We get to rough it in a trailer on location for a couple of days. I sorta, kinda need to be there or there won't be an O'Neill on SG-1." He paused for effect and sniffed. "Yeah! There's an episode coming up where O'Neill gets to kiss Sam on the . . . Prometheus." They all looked toward Sam; she appeared decidedly uncomfortable. Hammond's eyes blazed for an explanation.

Daniel pursed his eyebrows in puzzlement. "I thought you said the episodes were from events that have already happened in our reality."

"Indeed Daniel Jackson. I do not remember such an incident." Teal'c looked intently at his female teammate.

O'Neill piped in quickly with a nervous look toward Hammond, "Neither do I! Carter? Care to explain? I wasn't even on the Prometheus "

The embarrassed Major looked to General Hammond with wide, pleading eyes. "Sir, we don't have much time. If Flanders isn't available to abduct, Loki may go to another alternate reality. We need to act quickly."

As much as Hammond wanted to pursue the line of questioning, they had a mission to complete. He responded with a reluctant sigh, "I agree with Major Carter."

"As do I." The little alien tried to restore order to the meeting. "Colonel O'Neill, do you think you will be able to take the place of Mister Flanders?"

Roc exclaimed, "Aaack! Please don't call me that. It makes me feel like Ned on The Simpsons!"

O'Neill grinned with satisfaction and punched his fist into the air. "Yesssss!" He responded to the startled looks of his teammates. "Hey! He can't be all that bad if he watches The Simpsons." He stood in silent reflection of his favorite television cartoon, but then realized all eyes were on him. "What?"

Hammond rephrased Thor's question. "Colonel, do you think you can pull this off?"

"Sir, though I have every confidence that I can act like Flanders, I can't cycle for 200 miles. I don't even own a bicycle anymore." He turned to Flanders. "Do you have to ride 200 miles?"

Flanders couldn't resist. "We soft actors need to stay in shape somehow."

Thor interrupted the gloating and corresponding look of disgust. "O'Neill. If Loki is to abduct Flanders, he will have been studying his movements for some time. Loki will become suspicious if Flanders is suddenly unable to bicycle such a distance." The grey alien paused in thought. "O'Neill, I can enhance your athletic ability to allow you to complete the race."

Roc indignantly interjected, "Hey! That's called doping and it's illegal. I don't want to be implicated in such a scandal. It could ruin my reputation as an athlete. Besides, I've been training for this event for three months."

"I thought you said you were an actor." Daniel asked curiously.

Roc responded with tongue-in-cheek amusement. "Acting is just my day job. I'm really an athlete." No one seemed to get the irony of this statement and attention was shifted back to the mission.

Sam looked concerned and doubtful. "Thor, what if Colonel O'Neill can't do this?"

Thor thought for a moment. He raised his crooked index finger. "There is another option. However, I suggest that Colonel O'Neill prepare as much as possible to act like Flanders."

Jack turned to the actor and smugly smirked. "I guess it's only fitting that I act like you. After all, turnabout is fair play." He rocked slowly back and forth on his feet in delight at his own joke.

During this exchange Major Carter's jaw tensed in thought. With wide, expressive eyes, she spontaneously interrupted her CO's revelry. "Thor, in the past we encountered a race of beings who were able to conceal their true image by using . . . technology which . . . basically acted like a photocopier." She turned to General Hammond. "Sir, if we could retrieve the mimicking devices, we could accompany Flanders without drawing attention to ourselves."

The General raised his head in question to the grey alien. "Thor?"

"General Hammond, I am unfamiliar with this technology. It may not be able to deceive Asgard sensors." Major Carter looked downcast. "However, I am sure it can be modified to do so." The men in the room were secretly and uncomfortably pleased by the grin that lit up the pretty Major's face.

General Hammond snapped his attention back to the subject. "Good. Major, make sure we get those devices from Area 51 quickly."

"Yes sir." She replied, as she immediately started to back out of the room.

The occupants of the room were surprised when the actor interrupted. "Wait! If I remember correctly, those thingies made you look like other members of the SGC."

Teal'c volunteered. "That is correct, Rocco Flanders. The remaining devices will duplicate Major Davis, Daniel Jackson, and . . . ."

Roc raised his hand to stop the Jaffa and scrunched his face in familiar O'Neill skepticism. "That's all we need – another Daniel Jackson. Look, it's going to be hard enough being incognito with me present. If I travel anywhere with someone who looks like Daniel Jackson or any other member of the cast, the fans are going to be all over us." Daniel cocked his head in confusion. "To borrow an expression – For crying out loud! We're on a popular television show and the lady fans are very excited to meet Denny . . . and, and . . . sometimes me." His face colored noticeably in shyness. The members of the team, who were used to traveling anonymously in public, were stunned by this revelation.

Sam recovered quickly. "Thor, do you think you could change the image to look like someone else who isn't such an integral part of SG-1? For instance, could you make one of the images look like . . ." she stood up and walked to the large window that overlooked the gateroom. She pointed down and continued, ". . . Airman Steele?" Roc got up to stand with Sam at the window. She was pointing to a technician who stood next to Sgt. Siler; the technician was in the process of handing a large wrench to Siler.

Roc held his stomach and laughed aloud. "You mean you want to look like one of the directors?" He continued laughing at the stunned faces around the conference table.

Hammond broke the spell. "Airman Steele is a director?"

"Yeah, and Siler's a stunt coordinator. They like to make cameo appearances. Everyone around here is a double of either the cast or crew. If you're going to change the image, then you had better make it someone who isn't connected with the SGC."

"That's settled, then. Mr. Flanders will need to approve of any image you and Thor choose, Major Carter." He looked up at the assembled group. "We'll discuss this matter further at oh nine hundred hours tomorrow. Dismissed."

The dislocated actor raised his hand half way up and looked toward General Hammond, "Uh! I hate to spoil the party, but I have another 40 miles to ride before I can call it quits for today. General Hammond, will you allow me to ride by myself?"

"I'm sorry I can't allow that, son." Hammond grinned. "But I might just have the perfect riding partner for you."

Scene 6 – Getting to know you

Siler looked nervously toward the spitting image of the SGC's 2IC. He was told he would cycle with this man, who is supposedly not Colonel O'Neill. As the peridot-clad cyclist approached the Sergeant, he had a big grin on his face. "Hey Siler. Where's your big wrench?"

"Excuse me? . . . Sir?" He was puzzled by the question and frowned seriously.

The actor waved his hand in dismissal. "Never mind." Flanders shook his head a couple times and grinned at his private joke. "So! I didn't know you rode. Are you a serious cyclist?"

"When I can, sir."

"Seriously, Siler. I'm not Colonel O'Neill. My name is Rocco Flanders." He put on a friendly grin, "But you can just call me Roc. So what kind of bike do you have?"

Siler got an excited expression on his face – his eyes opened more widely. "It's right here in this storage room. I just bought it a couple of weeks ago." He opened the door in front of them, turned on the light, and paused in presentation of his pride and joy. "She's a Beauty!" With a wistful expression, he proceeded to extol on the virtues of his new bicycle. Roc nodded his head appreciatively and asked questions to encourage the suddenly talkative airman.

By the time they headed out of the mountain with both bicycles, the two men had bonded through their chosen sport. As they proceeded out the front gate, they were feeling each other out to assess the other's commitment, skill, and fitness level.

When they returned to the mountain hours later with Roc slightly in the lead, both men had wide and satisfied grins on their faces. They found they were compatible riders. The younger airman learned a number of tricks from the more seasoned actor. "You started distance riding when you were how old?" Flanders regaled him with tales of his cycling adventures while they walked their bicycles back into the SGC. After a refreshing shower and clean clothing, Siler asked the question that had been annoying him since he learned of his alternate career as an actor. "So, I'm just an actor?" He realized he might be insulting his new-found buddy, so he clarified, ". . . I mean. Uh! I'm not more . . . active?"

Roc put his head back and laughed. "Oh! I wouldn't say that. Your main job on the set of SG-1 is to coordinate all the stunts . . . and you still do some for me even though you've retired from full-time stunt work." He watched the Sergeant closely for his reaction.

For the first time that day, Siler's face broke into a broad grin. "Really!"

It was at this point that they ran into Daniel Jackson as he waited outside the locker room. The archeologist was dumbfounded by the blazing smile on Siler's face. "Uh! I've got him from here, Siler."

Siler's exuberant response of, "Yeth thir, Doctor Jackthon!" could be heard all the way down the hallway.

Daniel looked at Roc curiously. "How'd you do that?"

"What?"


	3. Part 3

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Scene 7 - Daniel's Turn

Daniel sighed at the familiar dense expression and knew he would get no further explanation. "Come on. We need to go to Sam's lab." Daniel started walking briskly toward the elevator. He was strangely quiet and his head was lowered.

The uncharacteristic silence didn't escape Roc's notice and he commented, "So, Dr. Jackson, what's bothering you?"

The surprised archeologist halted and raised his head at the question. But he was more surprised by the respect he heard in the actor's tone. "Please! Call me Daniel. The uh . . . doctor title tends to separate me from uh . . . people."

"Okaaayy! Daniel, so . . . what's bothering you?" His voice was much more gentle than Colonel O'Neill's typically gruff speech. Roc smiled internally at the audacity of ever calling this dignified man before him 'Space Monkey.'

"Ja. . . I mean, Roc. There's nothing bothering . . ." He stopped when he saw the look of doubt cross the actor's face.

"Daniel. I'm an actor. My job is to convey a myriad of emotions solely through body movement and expression. As a result, I'm pretty skilled at reading body language. Something is bothering you. What is it?" His tone gentled even further while still maintaining a distinct maleness.

After a thoughtful pause, the younger man commented. "You really aren't like Jack, are you?"

O'Neill's look alike gave a short laugh and his face broke into a huge smile. He chuckled, "Nooo! I'm actually more like . . . you." This statement caused Daniel to visibly startle, so the actor continued to explain. "Like Colonel O'Neill, I'm into astronomy and sports – any sports, but I'm also an archeology buff. I love to travel to distant lands and explore cultures. I'm fluent in four languages, including American Sign Language – not nearly as many as you, but . . . . I hope to better society and don't believe in violence as the first step in conflict resolution. . . Shall I go on?"

Daniel noted that the actor used graceful, expressive hand gestures while speaking. This was very uncharacteristic of the leader of SG-1 who tended to use forceful, quick hand movements. He couldn't imagine this enlightened being before him portraying Jack's cruder moments. "How can you play Jack? I mean, can you? I haven't actually seen you . . . uh . . ."

The actor's demeanor suddenly changed. Through gritted teeth, he raged, "Daniel! For crying out loud! Do you have to question everything I say? I believe the definition of commanding officer is that I command. When are you going to understand that?" Roc stalked off in a huff, but stopped suddenly, turned around and lightened his features. "How was that? Good enough for ya?"

Daniel was speechless and knitted his eyebrows in puzzlement. He lowered his head and tightened his crossed arms across his chest. His voice deepened as he responded. "That was . . . creepy." In a minor imitation of Teal'c, Daniel raised his eyebrows. Roc was not surprised by the archeologist's next question. "What am I like? I mean, the me that plays . . . me." Daniel stopped with a frown. He wondered again why a linguist would continually have difficulty with awkward sentences.

"The actor that plays . . . you – his name is Dennis Jarret." Roc smiled. "In a lot of ways, Denny is like you, but in other ways . . . he's like . . . Jack." With that parting comment, he continued toward the elevators.

Daniel hesitated in the hallway – horrified by the rude image that flashed in his mind in reaction to that last statement. He jumpstarted himself and shouted after the actor, "What do you mean?" His question was met with infuriating silence. Daniel hoped that Sam would have better luck getting information from the actor.

Scene 8 – Sam's Lab

Sam stood uncomfortably under his intensely curious gaze. "Um! Why are you looking at me that way?" This was the Colonel's face studying her with undisguised interest. She felt like a bug under a microscope.

He gave her a sideways grin filled with intelligent humor. "Angela is going to ask about you. Not that she'll ever believe I was here, but . . ."

"Yeah! Well! Um!" Sam stood unmoving for a moment and bit the side of her lower lip. Though she was curious as to the identity of 'Angela' she decided to change the subject to something more comfortable. "Daniel said I'm supposed to teach you how to operate the communication equipment. So . . . do you have any experience with two-way radios?" She glanced up at him quickly before returning her gaze back down to the radio equipment.

"Just what I learned for the show." His voice was much more gentle than the Colonel's with a more pronounced, nasal, Minnesota accent.

As the conversation shifted to work topics, Sam felt herself relax with the stranger in her teammate's body. She wanted to avoid an interpersonal minefield. Like most scientists, she was uncomfortable talking about non-scientific subjects. This actor, who looked like her CO, was causing her stomach to do strange flip-flops. A gentle, intellectual, grinning Jack O'Neill. 'Beware, women, beware!' Her intensely curious nature recognized the opportunity to learn more about the mannerisms of her O'Neill since the actor might have insight into the Colonel's behavior. She was also curious about this alternate's lifestyle.

"Uh! We have to wait for the equipment to fully charge or the battery won't use its full capacity. It's a nickel-metal hydride battery as opposed to . . ." She trailed off at the amused expression on his face and cut her explanation short. She gave a quick, nervous grin, which never reached her eyes. "It should be about 15 minutes." She tried to avoid eye contact, but was caught up in his friendly, but non-pushy curiosity. "What?"

"I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"

She gave a breathy, "Yeah!"

He hesitated in his response. Then grinned shyly. "I'm sorry. I keep waiting for you to act like Angela since there aren't any cameras in this room. She's always cracking jokes." His expression became wistful.

Carter deduced that 'Angela' must be the name of her alternate in Roc's universe. "Oh yes, there are . . . cameras, I mean." She started pointing to the surveillance cameras.

He stopped her with a gentle raised hand. "No, I mean . . . never mind." He smiled.

Her stomach flip-flopped. Carter grimaced and took the plunge into a personal topic. "What's she like? Me? I mean . . . Angela?"

"Ahhh! Well, she's married." Sam's mouth closed and she raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really! To whom?"

"He's probably not someone you know. And if he is, he would have a different name." Sam looked disappointed at his dismissal; she clearly wanted more details, so Roc continued. "They met while hiking; he's a forest ranger." Sam's face cycled through a range of expressions as each detail was revealed. The actor watched her closely as he continued. "They're very happy together. They have horses and ride out on the trails at every opportunity – they love the outdoors. She has a great dog named Bart." Sam didn't miss his twitch of amusement at her expense. Angela is a mother hen to the cast and crew. All the guys . . . and women . . . would do anything for her. Not unexpectedly, she has a large following of male fans. After all, she is beautiful." His eyes twinkled as his gaze quickly caressed her face.

Major Carter blushed profusely at his last comment. She quickly changed the subject to qualities that were more important to her. "Is she smart?" Her question was met with a short laugh. She would never get used to the laugh. When her 'O'Neill' laughed – which was rare – he didn't laugh this way. The actor's lighter emotions had a boyish quality and increased his attractiveness. She somehow felt disloyal to the Colonel and quickly amended that her friend and CO didn't need anything to become more attractive. 'Is it getting hot in here?' She was startled when the actor answered her forgotten question. She realized he must have been watching her during her slight lapse and had most likely noticed the increased flush in her cheeks.

With a smirk and slight pause to make sure he had her attention, the O'Neill look-alike repeated her question in case she forgot what she had asked. "She has to be smart to memorize all the techno babble that you speak. Uh! I'm sorry, I mean your scientific . . ."

They were suddenly interrupted when Colonel O'Neill walked into the room. Carter immediately came to attention. "Sir, I was just teaching Mr. Flanders how to operate the radio."

The recently arrived Colonel looked startled and quizzically replied, "Major Carter. That's very interesting, but I'm not Colonel O'Neill; he is." The actor, who had just arrived, pointed to the man with whom Sam had been speaking.

As Sam realized that she had been duped, she looked at her CO in open-mouthed outrage. "Sir, how could you do that?"

He grinned wickedly. "Turnabout, Major . . . turnabout. Besides, I though you said I couldn't pull this off." As Colonel O'Neill walked toward the door, he slapped his arm on his double's shoulder. "Well! After you're through here, my good fellow, I'll show you to your temporary quarters. And uh, thanks for the intel on Angela." The grey-haired Colonel sauntered out of the room in cocky self-satisfaction. Sam could have sworn she heard a giggle from the actor who remained in the room. 'A giggle!' That's what Colonel O'Neill sounds like when he giggles? Then her face reddened in embarrassment as she remembered the details of the past 15 minutes. She turned back to the grinning actor.

While still smiling widely, Roc shook his head in incredulous disbelief. "He's a piece of work, isn't he?" Sam's smile didn't reach her eyes. Her face had 'revenge' written all over it. Roc looked at her in a conspiratorial manner. "If you need my help paying him back, just let me know." When he got a cool look in return, he mumbled. "I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. Well, literally I am in O'Neill's shoes, but . . . you know what I mean." He wisely decided to remain silent when she continued to stare out the door with her delicate chin pointed in resolve.

Until she calmed down, Roc decided to look around her laboratory. As he checked out the title of the open book on the worktable, he unconsciously picked up a familiar-looking prop. His fingers rotated it absently while he tried to read the title of the book. His face scrunched in frustration. He didn't have his reading glasses and couldn't make out the smaller words no matter how far away he stood. He settled for closing the cover to read the title. The book on astrophysics did not hold his interest, so he moved on to the shelves at the back wall. He placed the original prop down on a nearby table in order to pick up another familiar item from the shelf. He hefted its weight in his left hand while his right hand reached for another object. He didn't notice the now-calm major was observing him.

Samantha Carter was reminded of her brother's young children as she watched Roc's interest bounce from one object to another within the span of seconds. She wondered what he was thinking as he snooped through her laboratory. His single-minded investigation reminded her more of Daniel on an archeological dig. In comparison to his counterpart in this reality, the actor appeared oblivious to her gaze while the Colonel would have been aware of her every action.

Roc eventually turned around and sheepishly replaced the items on a shelf. "Sorry!" After one more look around the room, he returned his gaze to the pretty major. His expression became serious as he softly stated, "I haven't had a chance to tell you yet, but . . . it's really an honor to meet you, Major Carter. I admit I'm a little in awe of your character." His face became more animated and his voice raced. "I can't help observe all of you, but if you're anything like our Major Carter, then . . . . Do you realize how amazing it is to see a character you helped create come to life before your eyes?" He became self-conscious as he realized the extent of his animation might be making her uncomfortable. He quieted his expressive hands and nervously plucked his shirt away from his chest.

Sam looked at him closely. The first thing she noticed was that he looked much younger than the Colonel. Apparently, the actor had not lived through the same, rough experiences. The second thing she noticed was the lack of menace emanating from him. In comparison, the Colonel's demeanor always seemed to hide a crouching panther beneath a thin layer of civility. She had seen that animal come out of hiding too many times to be fooled by his docile exterior. However, this actor had no such layer. The most startling observation was the lack of attraction toward Roc. She might as well have been in the room with Daniel or her brother. She was amazed.

His deep rumble startled her. "It's amazing, isn't it?"

She flinched slightly and scrunched her face in puzzlement. He couldn't possibly have read her mind. She asked for clarification. "What's amazing?"

He gave her a ghost of O'Neill's sideways smirk. "It's amazing that there are no . . . feelings between us."

His sharp awareness and open honesty stripped every protective layer from her. Her face reddened, so he quickly assured her, "Don't worry. I won't say anything. You have to understand that in my reality, the 'thing that's not a thing' between the two of you is common knowledge to the fans." He noticed her discomfort. His tone softened. "Come on. Weren't you going to show me the radios?"

Sam was relieved to change to a safe topic. She started to explain the operation of the radios, but stopped as she came to a realization. She fixed him with wide, startled eyes and said, "You're a lot like Daniel, aren't you." His wide grin was her answer. She shook her head in awe and returned his smile at a lower wattage. Sam felt she could become a friend with this stranger in her CO's body. "Come on Roc, let's tackle this radio so we can talk about your world.


	4. Part 4

It was mentioned that it would have been "creepy" to use the real actor in this story. I wanted to point out that it is requested that we refrain from using real people on this website. More importantly, I don't know the real actor and want to respect his privacy. By making another (fictitious) actor in an AU, I have freedom with the personality, details, and life circumstances. My only fear is that some might mistake my fictional facts as reality. This is NOT about any real person. No real universe could survive two Jack O'Neill's smile . Now, back to the story.

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 9 – T Man

Roc Flanders tossed and turned in an attempt to get comfortable and sleep. The mattress in the guest quarters wasn't supportive enough to ease the ache in his back. The crash through the Stargate had done more than just damage his knee. He wondered if he should have asked Thor to fix his back as well. He reasoned that he could always see Janet for pain medication, but decided against it. If Janet was anything like the doc on the television show, she wouldn't allow him to bicycle in two days. Roc sighed at the familiar ache and decided to keep busy to keep the pain at bay. After leaving his room, he walked in the hallway outside the guest quarters. The corridors were mostly deserted. It was midnight on base and the only people in sight were the guards. After a sudden inspiration, he stopped an SF. "Where would I find Teal'c?" He was directed to a room nearby. He paused outside the alien's door before raising his hand to knock. After a brief silence, he heard, "Enter." Roc took a deep breath and turned the knob to open the door.

Teal'c's expression was unreadable as he greeted his visitor. "Flanders. To what do I owe this visit?"

"I, uhm, couldn't sleep and wondered if you, had time to talk."

"That would be most welcome." Teal'c inclined his head toward a chair further in the room.

Roc smiled at the familiarity of all the candles and wondered how long it took Teal'c to light them each evening. Instead he asked, "So, we've been wondering . . . do you carry candles in your backpack when you're off world? It seems like you always have them with you."

Teal'c opened his mouth to respond, but quickly snapped it closed. He cocked his head with a barely-perceptible twinkle in his eye. The alien gestured to the floor before him. "Please, sit."

The actor chose the chair instead of joining Teal'c on the floor. He felt compelled to explain. "I, uh, have bad knees."

Teal'c looked pointedly at the actor and commented without emotion. "You have also injured your back."

Roc widened his eyes – impressed by the Jaffa's observation skills.

Teal'c patiently educated, "One must continually study his enemy for weakness."

"Do you think I'm an enemy?" Roc's voice raised in pitch to reflect his surprise at the notion of the alien's statement.

"I do not. However, it is often wise to hone observation skills on those who will verify accuracy." After a pause to make sure his lesson was received, the older alien continued. "I do not believe you are capable of treachery. You are similar in nature to Daniel Jackson.

Roc was pleasantly surprised and grinned in delight at the compliment. "Thank you. I take that as a compliment."

"As it was meant."

Roc was in awe at the peace that permeated the room. He had only felt this spiritual oneness before in a Tibetan monastery. It struck him that this exotic being before him was not only from another culture, but he was also from another planet. "Wow! You really are an alien. I can't even begin to tell you how pleased I am to actually meet you." His eyes were bright with awe. His expression sobered and he gestured tentatively to Teal'c's midsection. "Uh! You don't have a . . . symbiote anymore, do you?"

"I do not."

Roc nodded his head slowly. They sat in comfortable silence while the actor looked around the room. He was amazed that the contents of the room matched the props in his reality. He returned his gaze back to the bald Jaffa sitting on the floor. "Teal'c? Why is your head bald?"

Teal'c, who was already accustomed to non-sequiturs from O'Neill, responded without reaction to the illogical change in subject. "It was the tradition of my symbiote. Why do you inquire?"

The actor appeared startled by the question since his mind had already jumped to another subject. "Oh, Terry wanted to know. He's tired of shaving his head."

Teal'c was curious about his human counterpart. "This 'Terry' would be the actor who portrays me in your television show. Do his features resemble my own?"

Roc paused before replying. "Oh yeah! Well, except for the, uh . . ." Roc pointed toward his own forehead to indicate the embossed symbol above the Jaffa's eyes. "His name is Terrence Gold, but he goes by Terry. When he's in makeup, he looks exactly like you."

Teal'c made no further comment and seemed to be waiting for something. The actor's gentle brown eyes widened as understanding dawned. "Wait. You'd like to know what you would be like if you hadn't been born a Jaffa." His partner inclined his head slowly in affirmation. Roc smiled softly. "Terry is a gentle giant. He's a warm and caring individual with a big heart." His grin widened, "He has the most infectious laugh – and he laughs a lot – at my warped jokes. He's just generally a happy camper, and he's full of energy. He never sits still; he's worse than me."

Teal'c raised his eyebrow dubiously.

Correctly interpreting the Jaffa's doubt, the actor continued. "Ok! So, maybe he's not that bad. Ah! Another thing you both have in common is that he does all he can to better his own culture. He projects a positive, honorable image to young people of color." Teal'c sat back in satisfaction at that last comment.

The two sat in companionable silence. Roc broke the mood with a heavy yawn. "I think I'd better try to get some sleep."

Teal'c was heartened that his counterpart in the alternate universe brought pleasure to those around him rather than the death that Teal'c had too often bestowed upon others. "Rocco Flanders. Thank you."

The actor was surprised to see the glimmer in the alien's eyes. He felt his own eyes well up and he smiled shyly in response. "Anytime, Teal'c. Anytime."

Scene 10 – Doctoring

Upon awakening early the next morning, Roc realized that he had been able to get some sleep after all. The clock on the nightstand read 5:30 am. He rolled gingerly out of bed – still favoring his back. As he stood up, he gently stretched and gauged the ache to be the same as it was yesterday. He decided to walk around the base again. After getting more directions from the SF's near his room, he entered the recreation room. The bored actor flipped through the television channels, but turned the TV off with a frown. "I guess there's nothing on in this reality either." He spotted a guitar in the corner and decided to play. It might calm his nerves and kill time until the mission started. After tuning the guitar, he began limbering up by picking a few easier ballads and humming in a quiet baritone. He eventually began strumming a haunting tune, which he had composed some years before.

As the last note drifted to silence, he looked up to see Dr. Janet Fraiser standing in the doorway with a wistful expression on her face. "That was beautiful. Who is the composer?"

His face reddened and he gave her a shy, but pleased smile. "Uh! That would be me."

Janet smiled in pleasant surprise. Roc knew when she transitioned to her professional role when she abruptly placed her hands in the pockets of her white coat. Her facial expression hardened slightly. "I just came to ask you to accompany me to the infirmary. I need to get a baseline of your DNA." She had carefully phrased her request, being well aware that she couldn't order the civilian. "If you don't mind."

"I'd be pleased, doctor."

"Please, call me Janet."

"OK, Janet. Lead on." As he lurched up from the couch, he couldn't stop the flinch from the pain and stiffness in his back. Luckily, the doctor didn't appear to notice, so he followed her into the corridor. After walking in silence for a few feet, Roc looked down to the short doctor. "Aren't you curious about your counterpart in my reality?"

Janet's clicking heels stopped in the hallway. She looked up to the handsome face before her. "No. I'm not. I'm here to do a job, and we don't have much time to do it." She resumed her brisk walk to the elevator.

Roc was a little disappointed. After a brief hesitation, his long strides quickly shortened the distance between them. He gave her a sideways look and then looked forward again. He shortened his stride to match her quick, mincing steps. They both stopped to turn their attention to the closed elevator door.

A passing airman observed the two as they waited for the elevator in silence.

00000

Daniel was startled as the elevator doors opened to the sound of Janet's laughter. "Roc, you are so funny." She removed her hand from his forearm and the two stepped out of the elevator. "Oh! Good morning Daniel." She flashed the startled archeologist with a rare smile.

Roc inclined his head in greeting, "Daniel." The pair continued out of the elevator and on to the infirmary. Their walk was occasionally interrupted by bursts of laughter from Janet. Daniel stood in the hallway in puzzlement. The usually serious doctor appeared to be flirting with the actor. Daniel mumbled incredulously, "How did he do that?"

Scene 11 – Time for reflection

As Sam rounded the corner, she noticed Colonel O'Neill leaving the commissary. "Good morning, sir."

He was especially exuberant this morning. "Carter! Are you sure it's me? . . . not him?"

"Yes sir." She hesitated for effect. "I've memorized one of your um . . . scars, sir."

"Oh! Which one might that be, Carter?" He was surprised that she dared to mention it.

"I'm, uhhh! I'm not going to tell you . . . Colonel . . . sir." She smirked to soften her disobedience.

O'Neill faked a hurt expression. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you didn't trust me, Major."

Sam ignored his comment and her face became more sober. "Seriously, Colonel. How are you feeling about all this?"

"You have a couple hours?" He stopped in the hallway and faced his 2IC with an equally serious expression.

Sam hesitated at the familiar retort – then remembered that she had made the same response when O'Neill had asked about Dr. Carter, her 'double,' years ago. At that time, the feelings she had confronted about her life choices were overwhelming – words couldn't express the cacophony of emotions and possible regrets, so she had said nothing. She suspected that the man before her was experiencing a similar tide of emotions. "If you want to talk about it . . . I'm willing to listen."

"Carter. I wouldn't even know where to begin." He continued toward the infirmary to join the group already present – effectively ending the conversation. Major Carter trailed behind.

As they rounded the corner, Dr. Fraiser looked up. Her smile was disconcerting. "Ah! Colonel O'Neill. Perfect timing. You know, sir, you could take some lessons from Roc on being an ideal patient." General Hammond struggled to prevent a smirk from overtaking his face.

The actor faced no such struggle as a wide grin split his face. "Thanks Janet." His voice hummed smoothly and deeply.

The doctor turned away to hide the blush that infused her face. Her demeanor became strictly professional as she faced her CO. "General. I've completed my examination. Roc is essentially identical to the Colonel except for various observable scars, a weight difference, and the absence of the gene marker placed there by the Asgard."

"Which scars?" O'Neill's question was ignored by the group. He was disappointed and looked toward Carter. Though she didn't look at him, the Major wore a slight, self-satisfied grin.

Dr. Fraiser continued. "There shouldn't be a problem with Colonel O'Neill pretending to be Roc. We could explain the extra weight as the result of vacation."

"What do you mean extra weight?" Jack looked affronted.

"Sir, Roc weighs less than you by about 15 pounds. He explained that the camera adds weight to his televised image, so he diets right before returning to work. Colonel, since you don't appear before cameras regularly, your extra poundage is not as noticeable." Janet looked toward the General – effectively cutting off any response. Hammond cleared his throat in sympathy.

Jack tried to slyly look at his image on the reflective surface of a piece of medical equipment. He frowned at the distorted image and then looked toward his teammates for reassurance. Teal'c stood ramrod straight and raised his chin in the other direction. Sam busied herself with making sure her watch was working, and Daniel returned the gaze with his densest, absent-minded-professor look. When Jack looked back to his counterpart, he observed a quiet intelligence behind the actor's grin. "What?"

Roc shrugged in response, but kept grinning. He enjoyed watching the interaction between the team members. He would use these observations when directing his fellow cast members in the future.

The group was interrupted when Thor returned via a column of light. "There has been a change of plans."

"Hello Thor." O'Neill insisted on proper salutations when anyone entered the room.

"Colonel O'Neill. Hello! I am sorry. I forgot the customs of your planet." The alien looked slightly abashed.

"Yes, well . . . it's good of you to drop in." The Colonel's levity did not detract from the seriousness of their mission.

General Hammond decided to rescue the little alien from the uncomfortable faux pas. "Thor, what change of plans?"

Thor looked relieved to change the subject. "The Asgard have just learned that Loki has another operative assigned to observe Colonel O'Neill in this reality. It is imperative that O'Neill continue to maintain a presence in his usual activities to avoid arousing suspicion."

The General turned to his 2IC. "Colonel, what do you have planned for the next couple of days."

"Sir, the only public event is the parachuting refresher for SGC personnel early this afternoon. I had planned on canceling it to spend more time observing Flanders. The more time we spend together, the easier it will be for me to act like him." O'Neill turned to the actor as an idea dawned. "On the other hand, it would definitely be beneficial for me to observe him a little . . . nervous from parachuting. Then I can imitate that behavior when Loki eventually does kidnap him – me."

Teal'c looked uncomfortable. Remembering his own parachuting experience, he muttered a slow and deep, "Indeed!"

The actor cleared his throat gently. He couldn't keep the pride from his voice as he responded to the slight from the military man. "Uh! It'll take a lot more than parachuting to . . . make me nervous." His statement was met with silence, so he continued. "I've been skydiving since the 80's." When the silence continued, he shrugged his shoulders and sheepishly gestured for the Colonel and General to continue their conversation.

After slowly peeling his glare away from the actor, O'Neill returned his gaze to his CO. "General, I was scheduled for down time after that and planned on heading up to my cabin in Minnesota later today."

The General made a quick decision. He turned to Roc. "Son, you will be the one who makes the trip to Minnesota while the Colonel and the rest of SG-1 prepare to go to your . . . world. I understand you have the same piece of property there."

The actor nodded reassuringly. "I know the way, General Hammond."

O'Neill turned to the Asgard Supreme Commander as a thought came to him. "Thor, won't the Asgard sensors pick up that there are two of us in the same place?"

Thor responded to the question quickly. "We will use Replicator technology to remove Flanders from the Asgard sensors while he is in your presence, O'Neill. While you are diving through the sky, I will be observing from a safe distance to see if we can apprehend Loki's partner. They must not know that we are aware of their plans."


	5. Part 5

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 12 – The jump

Amidst the deafening noise on the cargo plane, Colonel O'Neill observed each parachutist using a checklist, which verified that proper Air Force procedure was followed. Despite the routine task, his gut was twisted in knots, and he had a little tension headache. This was the same feeling he got when something wasn't quite right – or when confronted with a double of himself. In order to thwart his audience, he tried, unsuccessfully, to keep his features neutral.

Though Major Carter wasn't due to be recertified until the next quarter, she had decided to renew early. She smirked as she observed her commander surreptitiously through the darkened helmet shield. Sam had worked with O'Neill long enough to know that he became agitated whenever he encountered his double. Because it was so rare to see him off balance, she enjoyed watching the spectacle. Her musings were interrupted when the nearby actor touched her arm. They shared a knowing smirk before turning to resume their entertainment.

They were startled by a bellowed question. "What the hell are you two looking at?" O'Neill knew her smirk. His irritation at being a public spectacle didn't help his mood. He gruffed, "You two are up next."

Sam Carter was surprised to see that everyone else had already debarked the aircraft.

"Come on. Move!" O'Neill's tone softened to reduce the impact of his words, but his manner remained serious as his 2IC went through her checkout process. At the point before she was to jump out of the airplane, he yelled, "See you at the bottom." She gave a thumbs up before disappearing through the doorway. O'Neill observed until her chute opened and then turned to the only other occupant of the cargo hold. He watched as the actor got up smoothly from the floor and calmly performed the checkout procedure with total accuracy. Apparently he was good at mimicking after observing those who had jumped before him. Roc was about to jump from the plane when O'Neill signaled for him to wait. He shouted above the noise. "No daredevil stunts! I don't want something to happen to you." As soon as he performed his own checkout procedure, Jack joined his alternate self near the doorway. "You first." The actor gave a perfect salute and jumped. After a measured time period, the Colonel followed.

Samantha landed smoothly in the target zone. After gathering up her chute, she looked around her. She was startled to see the onlookers staring up in the sky with helpless expressions. She ran over to the nearest airman. "What's going on?"

"Ma'am. One of the parachutes didn't open. She was quickly filled in on a daring rescue in progress. Apparently, the diver whose chute had opened was attempting to intercept the second diver. Sam asked the obvious question. "Whose chute didn't open?" The onlookers could only shake their heads and shrug their shoulders in ignorance. Sam grabbed a pair of binoculars, but had difficulty seeing the two figures clearly due to the angle of the sun. She unconsciously held her breath when the two images merged. She looked on hopefully as the secondary chute began to deploy.

After witnessing the daring rescue, Sam's heart lurched in her throat when she saw the rescued man begin his solo plunge again from a distance too high to escape serious injury. She couldn't help her exclamation, "Oh God! No!" She moved her hand to cover her mouth in an unconscious gesture of denial. She closed her eyes to avoid witnessing the brutal contact as the man crashed to the ground at high velocity. She lowered her head and ran.

As the body of the unprotected parachutist impacted the ground, the bystanders were already initiating aid. Someone had called for a rescue helicopter in the optimistic hope that the victim would survive. Due to the distance from the intended landing site, the bystanders endured an extra wait as they ran full speed to reach the fall site.

Sam was one of the first to arrive at the crash scene. Her rapid breathing hitched when she saw the misshapen pile of clothing and bruised flesh. Sam ran to the victim's side and knelt beside the broken body. The man was barely conscious and groaning from the considerable pain of obvious, multiple fractures. She looked back to the other parachutist who was just landing. The cloth gracefully fluttering down was in direct contrast to the brutality of the body impacting the ground. Sam fervently prayed for . . . . she suddenly realized that she didn't know the identity of either man. She had assumed the daring rescue could only have been carried out by her CO. With added vigor, she turned back to the man before her. Sam's attention focused on keeping the injured man alive. She didn't know where to begin; there were so many injuries and so much blood as flesh split from the force of the impact. The man on the ground groaned and opened glazed eyes. She positioned herself in front of him. As he focused on her hovering face, she assured him, "You're going to be OK. We have a rescue helicopter coming."

Roc felt exhilarated after he jumped from the airplane. He had not had a chance to skydive in quite some time, and he enjoyed the exciting freefall. He looked back to see the Colonel's dark form slightly above and to the side. Though he enjoyed freefalling, freeflying was his preferred method of descent. This extreme sport involves using different body positions in order to change the rate of descent from the typical 110 mph to sometimes 170 mph. Groups of two or more individuals jump together and use each other as a point of reference to gauge speed. The jump partners often dock on each other (make contact) by carefully matching speed and direction; due to the high velocity of mistimed contact, injuries can occur. (http/ Roc sighed. He knew he would not have the opportunity to freefly today because Colonel Mother Hen would worry too much. He smiled again in disbelief that he was actually in this alternate universe speaking with the character that he had helped develop. He sighed in contentment as he pulled the ripcord to engage his chute. After the initial disorientation, he felt the pressure from the straps as his descent slowed.

As Roc looked up, he saw that Colonel O'Neill had not yet deployed his chute. That was puzzling. He knew the protocol, but figured the Colonel wanted to beat him down to the ground. But then he saw the man was struggling with something; he was frantically grappling with the straps on his clearly damaged, primary chute. Roc sighed with relief when he saw the chute float away and the Colonel pull the ripcord on his backup chute. That relief quickly turned to horror when the chute completely failed to open. Thinking quickly, Roc maneuvered his parachute to intercept the rapidly falling airman. At the appropriate time, Roc cut away at the triple ring to free his primary chute in order to resume his free fall. It would be close, but he knew he could match the Colonel's speed by using his arms and legs in a head-down position. The faces of the two men shared the same determined look as they contorted their bodies to manipulate the airflow and maneuver toward each other. Each man was determined to intercept the other.

Both the men timed their maneuvers to avoid body slamming into each other, but they grasped arms firmly when they drew closer. Roc yelled unnecessarily, "Hang on!" They both turned to orient in the same direction with their bodies parallel. Roc pulled O'Neill closer and wrapped his legs around the other man's trunk. Jack clasped his hands behind Roc's waist and held on tightly.

Roc was relieved to have the Colonel grasped securely, though uncomfortably, to his body. Breathing was a little tight, but he was afraid to loosen his grip because the force of deploying his own secondary parachute might pull them apart. With trepidation, he yelled out, "Ready?" He received a shout of confirmation to go ahead and pull his ripcord. With a sigh, he complied. At the same time, he felt a familiar lurch; Roc was puzzled by a flash of white behind O'Neill's head.

After his emergency chute failed to deploy, Jack resigned himself to his fate. He wondered who was responsible for the sabotage. Jack experienced regret that Sam and the others would witness the impact of his body on the ground. He'd been through this before; this time there were no trees to break his fall and it meant almost certain death from this altitude. The Colonel looked over to make sure Flanders was safely descending. He was puzzled when he saw his jumping partner's ripstop nylon chute flutter off. The actor was slightly above him, but maneuvering his body to intercept Jack. With a surge of hope, Jack did the same. As they slammed into each other and managed to hang on, Jack breathed a shaky sigh of relief. With his arms wrapped around Roc's waist and his face pressed to his chest, he waited for his rescuer to signal his intent. In response to the question, he shouted, "Pull it!"

Shortly after seeing Roc pull the ripcord. which deployed his secondary chute, Jack felt a lurch from his own backpack. His eyes widened in dawning horror then resigned regret. In a split second, he realized the saboteur had already planned a counter maneuver should a rescue attempt be made. Jack had only one action possible.

Roc was surprised at the shift in the Colonel's backpack. "What the . . . .?" In dismay, Roc realized the shift signaled the release of O'Neill's backup parachute. It would most likely tangle dangerously with his own deployed chute and cause both of them to fall to probable death. Simultaneous to this realization, he felt O'Neill shift violently in front of him. Too late, he realized that the Colonel had reached the same conclusion moments before and had initiated a successful move to free himself from Roc's grasp. Roc scrambled frantically to hold onto the man, but the more combat-experienced airman had already anticipated any move and had dropped too far away to retrieve. As he realized that Jack had sacrificed his own life to save him, Roc screamed out, "Noooooo!" Roc could only hope that the Colonel's chute would deploy correctly. That hope was dashed when he saw the completely disconnected parachute flutter away.

Through a haze of pain, O'Neill barely focused on the face of his 2IC. He could see the desperate hope in Sam's eyes as she leaned over his broken body. "You're going to be OK. We have a rescue helicopter coming." He realized she didn't know who he was. He tried to speak, but broken ribs prevented the controlled breathing necessary to produce sufficient volume. He mouthed a request and hoped she understood.

Sam saw the man on the ground attempt to speak, but she couldn't hear what he said over background noises. She leaned closer and placed her ear near his mouth.

His gasped voice was barely audible and laced with pain. "Find out . . . who . . . did this . . . Carter."

Sam drew back to look at his face with an anguished cry. "Sir!" Her eyes quickly filled with tears, and she went into command mode with renewed vigor. The seasoned Major turned her head to the bystanders while keeping her eyes on her CO and friend. She yelled out through clenched teeth, "Where the hell is that chopper?" Sam turned her full attention back to her injured teammate. "Colonel, we're going to get you out of here." He tried to comment, but she stopped him quickly. "No, sir. Don't talk. Save your strength. You're going to make it." She hoped the conviction in her voice would somehow make the statement true. She searched his body to find a place to touch him reassuringly, but there was no place that looked undamaged. She was distracted and relieved by the sound of the chopper and looked back to watch it's progress toward them.

The medics debarked quickly to stabilize their patient. Sam saw the doubt as they assessed the massive injuries. She pulled the leader aside and commanded quietly. "You do everything you can to keep him alive." He nodded solemnly as his teammates placed an intricate backboard around their patient in preparation for transport. Each movement of his broken limbs caused the Colonel to scream in agony through clenched teeth. His breathless shouts caused his pallor to become more grey as his compromised respiratory system fought for air. One of the rescue workers attached an oxygen mask to the victim's face. His teammates systematically and efficiently secured the Colonel to the stiff, protective stretcher. As they secured the last strap, the Colonel lost consciousness.

Sam's worried expression conveyed her fear. The leader reassured her that Jack was still breathing. She blessed the silence, which meant he was unaware of the pain. The major's nerves were frayed from worry about her CO. Each scream had sent a wave of anguish through her and increased her doubt that he would live through this. In all her experience to date, she had never seen someone this injured survive. But this was the Colonel – this was SG-1. She held onto hope and cursed the fact that there was nothing she could do to increase his chances for survival.

The rescuers were relieved that the victim was no longer aware of pain as they prepared him for transport. Once they had him strapped to the skid of the transport helicopter, they ascended to the hospital. Those on board didn't expect their patient to survive the trip. Those on the ground fervently prayed that expectation was incorrect.

As the helicopter left the scene, Sam's shoulders tensed in anticipation of the wait. She was surprised when a strong hand grasped her shoulder in support. She turned quickly and fought the urge to seek solace from the actor. He was a heartbreaking reminder of what she might lose – who she might lose.

Roc saw the emotions clearly flash across Sam's face; she wished it to be him on the chopper and Colonel O'Neill placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. Roc's voice was low and despaired. "I know it won't make you feel better, but I tried to stop him."

Sam's voice was deceptively calm as she asked, "What happened? Why did you let go?"

Roc flinched as if he had been hit. "As soon as my chute deployed, his backup chute started to open. Before I even realized what was happening, he purposefully pushed himself away from me." Roc swallowed down his rising emotions. "He saved my life at the expense of his." His eyes moistened. "Doesn't he know how valuable he is? I would have held onto him. Maybe we both would have been okay."

Sam raised her chin and struggled to contain her emotions. "He's a warrior. Saving lives is what he does." She explained further to ease the man's guilt. "He couldn't take the chance that you both would have died." She blinked back the moisture in her eyes and strode purposefully toward the Colonel's discarded pack. Sam knew she would have to keep busy until they heard about her CO's condition. She could think of no better way than to investigate why this 'accident' had happened. Roc watched her and wished there was something he could do to distract himself as well. Normally, he would comfort those around him, but his presence only seemed to accentuate the absence of the Colonel.

A jeep suddenly pulled up and expelled a frantic archeologist. "What happened?" Daniel's blue eyes were filled with concern and questions.

Roc sighed as the archeologist closely studied his face. "I'm not Colonel O'Neill."

Daniel visibly deflated. He apologized when he realized the implications of his action. "Roc, I'm sorry. It's not that we . . ."

Roc rescued him. "I know."

Daniel nodded his head in gratitude for the understanding. The actor placed his arm around the younger man's shoulder and quickly filled him in on the details of the last hour.

Scene 13 - Waiting

While the scene of the accident was being thoroughly investigated, members of the SGC waited anxiously to find out the condition of Colonel O'Neill. He was the 2IC of the base and generally liked and admired by personnel there because he treated even the lowest-ranking service people with fairness. General Hammond was particularly upset by the events. It was disconcerting to him that this accident had happened on Earth. He was sickened that he might lose his 2IC. He had grown close to the irreverent, honorable officer. Jack's injuries were quite serious. When Dr. Fraiser had discovered the extent of the injuries, she couldn't hide the doubt about O'Neill's chances for survival. In order to get ongoing information on his condition, Hammond had Chief Master Sergeant Walter Harriman keep in contact with the chopper pilots who were taking O'Neill to the nearest trauma hospital. The General was to be informed about any changes as soon as they happened. Shortly after the helicopter was to arrive at the helipad, Harriman entered his CO's office with a shocked look on his face. Hammond questioned him with alarm. "Son?"

"Sir, they lost him."

Hammond's shoulders dropped in sadness at the loss of his 2IC and friend. He was startled by the next words. "No, sir. Not that. I mean . . . they lost him. When they got to the hospital, Colonel O'Neill was missing." Hammond's face constricted in puzzlement.


	6. Part 6

A/N: Yikes! Sorry, I went out of town for the weekend and didn't realize I had left you guys hanging. /eyes downcast meekly/

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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_Hammond's shoulders dropped in sadness at the loss of his 2IC and friend. He was startled by the next words. "No, sir. Not that. I mean . . . they lost him. When they got to the hospital, Colonel O'Neill was missing." Hammond's face constricted in puzzlement._

Two hours after the Colonel had been reported missing, Roc and the rest of SG-1 waited for General Hammond in the briefing room of the SGC. The actor was relieved to escape the uncomfortable, open stares he received in more public areas of the mountain. He was used to similar attention from fans who recognized him, but the looks he received now were heart-breaking. It seemed everyone was hoping there had been a mistake – that the man before them was really the Colonel. Several of the younger airmen had hesitantly saluted – unsure how they should behave toward the man who looked so much like the 2IC of the SGC. The worst, however, was that SG-1 avoided looking at him at all.

Roc was grateful when the General and Dr. Fraiser entered the room to start the debriefing. After all members had shared their view of the events, General Hammond asked, "Major, have you determined anything from the remains of the parachute?"

"Yes sir. Both the Colonel's primary and backup parachutes were sabotaged. The secondary parachute was rigged to unfurl after a set time period should there be a sudden deceleration. It effectively ensured that any rescue attempt would be doomed to failure. It was definitely deliberate, sir." She paused while her stunned audience processed this news.

The General's face hardened. "Do we have any idea who is responsible."

Sam's shoulders were almost imperceptibly lowered in dejection. "No sir. But we do know the technology was most likely alien since the damage was done after the chute was packed. We found remnants of . . . ."

An Asgard transport beam interrupted her explanation. Daniel Jackson stood up instantly and welcomed the alien who suddenly appeared. "Thor! We need your help. Jack's been . . ."

Thor interrupted him with a raised hand. "Colonel O'Neill is safe aboard my vessel. I have also captured the Asgard responsible for the attempt on O'Neill's life." The alien's gaze shifted over a sea of hopeful faces. "O'Neill is currently undergoing a rejuvenation process, which will completely restore his previous health." Those present breathed a collective sigh and shared their relief with short eye contact. When he had their attention again, Thor continued. "However, we must now change the original plan."

Five expectant faces searched the alien for further explanation. "The time required for the rejuvenation process will extend beyond the planned time of abduction in the alternate reality."

Hammond quickly interpreted the problem. "Well, that leaves Colonel O'Neill out of the picture. What is Plan B?"

Thor raised his index finger to get the floor. "That is not necessarily so, General Hammond. It is possible to utilize O'Neill's consciousness while his body is healing. By transferring him into Flanders' body, we may benefit from the experiences of both O'Neill and Flanders on this mission."

His revelation was met with stunned silence as the possibilities and repercussions became apparent.

Scene 14 – Plan B

Teal'c expressed his doubt. "I do not believe Colonel O'Neill would not like this."

Doctor Fraiser turned to look at General Hammond. "I agree, sir. He's been violently opposed to 'blending' in the past."

Roc snorted. "You think he won't like it. It's my body."

Thor's large eyes blinked before he responded. "It is possible to ask Colonel O'Neill prior to the transfer. Would that be acceptable?"

General Hammond's Texas twang became more pronounced as he expressed the sentiment of those present. "Supreme Commander Thor, not only is it acceptable, it is absolutely necessary."

Thor closed his eyes briefly and the observers watched as a small iridescent column of light appeared. A hollow voice echoed from the column, "Helloooo! Anybody out there?" The voice was definitely identifiable as that of Colonel O'Neill. It gradually coalesced into the image of the CO of SG-1.

Thor greeted the image; he was not about to repeat his previous lack of salutation. "Welcome O'Neill."

"Hey Thor! Thanks for the lift." The image sniffed and smirked his lips to one side. "Ya know, ya coulda picked me up a little earlier. There would have been fewer pieces – less messy." Though all were relieved that the Colonel was safe, Major Carter and General Hammond hid silent huffs of amusement. Daniel furrowed his brow in mock sternness while Teal'c allowed a small smile to grace his features. Doctor Fraiser hid her amused expression by lowering her head and hiding behind her hand.

Thor looked apologetic. "I am sorry for the delay, O'Neill. It was necessary to allow the accident to occur in order to locate the renegade Asgard. He is now in custody and in stasis aboard my ship. I apologize for our lack of knowledge that he planned to end your life." Thor then proceeded to explain the current situation and the new plan.

The Colonel slowly shook his head. "I don't like this."

"Did I not say he would feel this way?" Teal'c raised his chin righteously.

Flanders had still not decided whether he wanted to allow the sharing of his body. "Thor, will you be able to get him out of my mind completely after this is over?" The actor looked apprehensively toward the little alien.

Thor responded calmly. "The Asgard are quite familiar with the transference of consciousness from one body to another. During an unexpected death, it is often necessary to transfer to an unfamiliar body before a clone can be readied. In those cases, both individuals share one body. We have never had a problem separating both individuals . . . Hmmm! There was that one time. But that was an unusual circumstance."

Flanders looked at him with wide-eyed expectancy. Thor continued with deadpan delivery, "That was a joke. Did I do well with your humor?"

The column of light grumbled in non-amusement. "You're going to have to work a little bit on that Thor. There's humor . . . and then there's downright cruelty."

Flanders looked physically ill at the thought of sharing thoughts with the hardened warrior. The actor acknowledged to himself that he was a little frightened to experience O'Neill's unpleasant and violent memories. That his 'roommate' might actually kill someone while in Roc's body was completely unacceptable. He gulped and turned to Thor. "Can he take control of me like the Goa'uld do?"

Thor blinked in puzzlement. He was unsure whether the actor's question was motivated by fear or by curiosity. He hesitantly explained. "You will retain complete control of your body – unless you wish to relinquish control for short periods of time. There is limited storage space in your brain, so only O'Neill's personality and memories will be transferred. It is not necessary to transfer data from areas of the brain that sense and direct body movement – that data already exists in the host. Because your bodies are so similar, O'Neill should not have difficulty accepting control when needed." Since Roc looked relieved, Thor continued, "In addition, you will be unable to probe each other's thoughts. However, you may consciously share thoughts and memories."

Roc stood in thought for a few seconds, then slowly nodded his assent. "Ok, I'm willing to do this." The actor then spoke to the column of light. "Well, do you want to do this?"

O'Neill responded almost immediately, "Give me a minute, will ya?" After an O'Neill minute, which lasted five seconds, the disembodied voice asked, "Carter, what are the repercussions if Loki does clone Flanders?"

She responded, "Sir, it will be as if he has cloned you. Your . . . progeny will possibly be used for any purpose Loki sees fit to pursue. He's desperate, sir. I think he'll continue searching in other realities if he's unsuccessful in this attempt."

Jack scowled. "So, I'll be looking over my shoulder wondering if he'll come after me." He grumbled resignedly. "I'll do it."

Flanders responded softly and with thought, "That's settled then. What do we have to do?"

Thor directed the actor. "Please step into the stream of light to initiate the transfer."

Scene 15 – It's crowded in here

Flanders moved forward eagerly. He had made up his mind to proceed with the adventure of sharing his body with O'Neill, and he was excited to get started. As he entered the column of iridescent light, his body appeared to glow. Thor raised the imbedded crystal in his hand to focus it toward the actor's temple. Shortly afterward, the beam winked out, and the actor stood stock-still. Roc could feel the presence of another mind. It was similar to being in a darkened room with another individual. Though he couldn't see the other person, he knew there was someone else present. Flanders reached out with his mind tentatively. 'Hey, O'Neill, are you there?' He received no response, so he tried again. He imagined a microphone and a hand. He tapped an imaginary finger on the microphone and asked, 'Hello! Is this thing on? Hellooo!'

Jack was trying to get his bearings. He felt disoriented in the strange body that wasn't so strange. It was a bit unnerving to be a guest in a body that felt so familiar. He tried to respond to the actor out loud. By Roc's less-than-humorous visual and verbal response, Jack realized that his own attempt at communication was unsuccessful. So he tried to communicate in his mind silently. 'I'm here. Can you hear me now?'

Roc grinned. 'Yeah! Let's see if you can move.'

'Tried that already. Zilch. Nada.'

The actor tried another tactic. He remembered that Thor stated the host was in control. So he tried to consciously give up control. He felt his body stagger and then right itself without his conscious thought.

Teal'c hurried to their side to provide assistance. Aloud, O'Neill exclaimed, "Whoa! This is strange."

"I'll say!" The actor had quickly and smoothly retaken control of his body. He gave Jack control again and retook it two more times. Through inner dialogue, Jack and Roc perfected the transition process. Roc was once again in control, and he waved away Teal'c's help.

Carter and Daniel looked on anxiously. The initial switching back and forth looked like a scene from a sci-fi movie. As the features on the actor settled into one expression, Daniel spoke. "Uh! Jack?"

The features on Flanders's face subtly changed and hardened. "Yes Daniel."

The archeologist wondered if the actor was pulling his leg since he had already demonstrated the ability to convincingly portray Jack O'Neill. "How do I know it's really you?"

O'Neill smirked, "Well, Roc here has a problem calling you Space Monkey. I don't, . . . Space Monkey." Daniel frowned in response, but was secretly pleased to speak with his friend again.

Major Carter clearly looked uncomfortable. She was face to face with her commanding officer as well as a stranger. When the Colonel turned to her, she asked, "How are you doing, sir?"

O'Neill's hand waved characteristically while he responded to the question. "Other than feeling like a herd of animals stomped on my back on their way to the zoo, I'm fine. The knee is better than usual. Thanks for asking."

Dr. Fraiser stepped forward with dogged, professional concern. "Sir, what's wrong with your back?"

Flanders frowned internally and thought, 'Oh great. Now you've done it. We won't be going anywhere. You better let me handle this one.'

The onlookers were fascinated as O'Neill's facial features rapidly lightened to that of the actor. Unlike the Tok'ra, there was no need for a head nod before the shift in consciousness. It was obvious to the onlookers when O'Neill had control of the body because the facial features took on a decidedly darker look. With Flanders in charge, the features were lighter with a touch more humor.

Flanders donned a laid-back pose, and he answered the doctor's question with a smooth, Midwestern twang. "Uh! Janet, there's nothing to worry about. I just pulled a muscle when I arrived." He decided not to remind the doctor that his arrival consisted of a high-speed crash through the Stargate. He continued. "It just gives off a little twinge every once in a while. No more than usual for me." He shrugged his shoulders and gave a little smirk. The actor gentled his eyes and placed his open hands palm forward to convey trustworthiness to Janet.

In his head Flanders heard O'Neill scoff. 'If that's a twinge, I'd hate to feel something more serious.'

Flanders ignored the internal comment and kept a light smile on his face to reassure Doctor Fraiser. Her crossed arms unfurled a little in response to his disarming charm. She gave him a sideways smile and replied, "Colonel, maybe you could learn some lessons from Roc on how to treat your doctor." She was unable to see as Jack snorted and rolled his eyes internally.

Daniel couldn't believe Roc had gotten away with the act. He looked over to see if Sam had bought into it as well. As the two pairs of blue eyes met, the Major narrowed her eyes and shook her head slightly in disbelief.

General Hammond cleared his throat to bring their attention back to the mission. Thor continued his instructions and reached his hand toward the Colonel. "O'Neill, here is a crystal. It will allow you to transfer out of this body should you be in danger."

Flanders and O'Neill coordinated the change of consciousness smoothly. In a deep, slow voice, the Colonel drawled, "And where would I go?"

The Asgard was unperturbed by the question. "I will give your teammates a receptacle which can contain your essence until it can be returned to your body. I must warn you, however, that you will be unable to communicate while you are contained inside." You also have the option to transfer into another living being. But choose carefully, as the existing consciousness will always have primary control over the body." As he finished speaking, a small beam of light deposited a very ornate, box-like container onto the floor. The sides were a deep maroon and black velvety metal with an inlaid gold emblem decorating the top area. The only opening in the box was filled with an iridescent whirl of purple pearl light. The members of the SGC stood transfixed at the beauty of the box.

Dr. Fraiser couldn't contain her exclamation. "Thor, it's beautiful."

O'Neill asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "Does it have cable hookups?" He received an incredulous glare from Daniel. "What! I'm in the middle of watching the playoffs. If I'm going to transfer into that . . . box, then I want to know what I'm getting into."

Thor took the statement literally. "The box is my own /indecipherable/." He blinked at the puzzled looks before him and appeared to sigh. He often forgot to compensate for the youth of this race. The alien patiently explained. "In your language, it roughly translates to 'sanctuary.' It has been my home periodically for thousands of your years. I would be honored if O'Neill was a guest in this place."

O'Neill stood in stunned awe and quickly blinked the moisture from his eyes. He tried to unobtrusively clear the emotion from his voice. "Thank you! You're always welcome in my place too. I'll even clean it up a bit if you give me enough warning." Daniel looked down toward the floor in order to hide the smile from his face. Janet and Sam shared a fleeting glance. They were all amused at the emotion forced upon Jack. Roc internally commented, 'Gotta love those guys.'

Hammond had enjoyed the interplay between his people, but he decided to rescue one embarrassed Colonel. "We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. Let's get some rest."


	7. Part 7

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 16 – The Day of the Event – Roc's World

"Hey, it's MacGregor!"

Roc flashed his trademark, smirky smile toward the group of cyclists who had recognized him as an actor. He didn't stop moving, however, and donned his bicycle helmet and fingerless gloves with practiced ease. He was soon indistinguishable from the other colorfully dressed riders in the cycling event. As he swung his leg up over his bicycle, someone shouted, "See you at the finish line, Jack." Though Roc was flattered by the recognition, he also felt uncomfortable with the attention. Like O'Neill, he didn't feel he deserved the accolades. So he quickly added force to lock his shoe into his pedal, and he pushed off with a wave to his fans.

Once he was on the road, Jack's voice sounded inside their shared cranial space. 'Who's MacGregor?'

Roc brushed off the comment casually, 'Oh! He's just a character I used to play back in the 80's.'

Somehow, O'Neill's voice sounded gruff even though it was not spoken aloud. 'And they still remember it?' There was silence for a block while Roc tried to establish a steady cadence. 'The person who yelled out to Jack . . ./throat clear/ . . . was he talking about me?'

Roc couldn't help the small, knowing smile that broke over his face. 'Yeah. That was for your character.'

After another block of silence, the Colonel quietly exclaimed, 'Sweet!'

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Samantha, Daniel, and Teal'c traveled the route of the event in an unmarked van. They were unofficially classified as a SAG wagon – a vehicle equipped to assist stranded cyclists. They all felt ridiculous in their Hollywood disguises. Thor had not yet readied the alien mimicking devices, so they had to resort to more conventional sunglasses and baseball caps. Roc was more than eager to design their temporary disguises since he used them himself when out in public. The identical caps and t-shirts marked the members of the SGC as a team.

Major Carter felt nervous about the distance they had to stay away from their CO. She fiddled constantly with the radio. "Colonel, can you hear me?"

"Yes, Carter. For the third time, I can hear you loudly and clearly." They were 35 miles into the bicycling event. "Let's keep communication to a minimum, shall we. Some of the other cyclists think we're talking to ourselves." He continued gruffly. "We're already drawing enough attention as it is." He referred to the fact that they wore a virtually invisible transceiver. Roc had refused anything larger because it would add weight to their bicycle and thus increase the difficulty of cycling. The actor had explained that the extra weight is compounded by the number of miles it is carried.

Carter chewed her lower lip in worry as she responded to the Colonel. "Yes sir. Just checking." She didn't like the fact that a renegade Asgard was trying to kidnap Roc and her CO while the rest of SG-1 was so far away. She knew the Colonel must be uncomfortable by the attention he and Roc were drawing. There were constant greetings shouted toward the actor, which Sam heard over the two-way radio. Some called the actor by his name, but most shouted out for MacGregor or for Colonel O'Neill – more for the former than the latter. She was sure that her CO felt exposed because the fans knew so much about him. Sam wondered if they knew more about him than she did. She vowed to explore the Stargate series at the first opportunity. Her face displayed a slight frown and her complexion reddened as she realized that she might also be exposed on the videos. The comment about the kiss on the Prometheus had already demonstrated that fact. Somehow, her hallucinations had been broadcast on national television for all to see. She vowed that whichever episode she decided to watch would be from a mission that did not contain embarrassing moments for her. With that decision made, Sam also decided to check on the 'MacGregor' character. It might be funny to see her CO as a different character. Maybe MacGregor was a Scotsman in a kilt or a sitcom character. She would ask at the next opportunity.

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Flanders / O'Neill continued cycling to the first of six rest stops. They pulled up to the side of an unmarked SAG wagon and rested their bicycle near the enclosed van. After quickly taking advantage of the restroom, they stooped to recheck the tires and chain. The side of the van was now open and Daniel's concerned face peered out. O'Neill gestured with the back of his hand for Daniel to retreat back inside. Roc had already warned him that Daniel would be difficult to disguise. It was important that no one recognize the other members of SG-1 or there would never be a private moment for Loki to initiate the kidnap.

O'Neill was glad for the chance to stretch his legs – well, Roc's legs. The two body-mates had agreed that the airman would get to control the body in between cycling. The actor wisely allowed this since he could sense the restless tension in the usually active airman. His head beneath the bicycle helmet felt hot and constricted, so O'Neill took the headgear off for a brief break. He rubbed his head vigorously and looked around. A number of individuals had stopped to stare, and he wondered if his bicycle shorts had a zipper. His skin started to crawl until a soothing voice sounded in his head. 'It's OK, Jack. They recognize you, but they won't come any closer. Why don't you give them a little smile.' O'Neill scowled instead. He gladly relinquished control of the body to allow Roc to handle this uncomfortable social situation.

Roc salvaged the situation by exclaiming, "For crying out loud. Don't you people have anything better to do?" After a stunned silence, the group of fans laughed. He returned their laughter with a slight grin and a shrug. He placed the helmet back on his head and shouted, "See you at the finish line." As he was about to resume his ride, one of the fans yelled, "Hey Roc. When are Jack and Sam going to get together?"

Roc chuckled. His voice faded in the distance as he shouted backward, "Keep watching and find out." O'Neill stayed silent and hoped Major Carter hadn't heard the fan's comment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sam eventually raised her head from the intense task of calibrating her watch to the local time. She knew Teal'c and Daniel would never mention the comment they overheard on the two-way radio. But they must have heard it. She glanced up to see Teal'c driving the van with his head back as if he were flying a Tel'tak. She braved a look in Daniel's direction and found him openly grinning at her. She quickly grew annoyed. "What?"

Daniel shook his head. "Nothing." He continued to grin.

Their exchange was interrupted by a radio transmission. It seemed a group of cyclists were shouting out to Roc as he rode by. They could hear a continuous string of shouts. "Hey MacGregor." "Go get 'em Mac." "Hey, loved your show, MacGregor."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Roc could tell the shouts were starting to get on O'Neill's nerves. He thought he knew what might be bothering the airman. It was confirmed when O'Neill finally asked. 'So, how long was MacGregor on TV anyway?'

The actor kept his focus and pedaled. 'It was on for seven years.'

'How long has the Stargate show been on?'

Roc sighed. 'Almost seven years.' Knowing that the questions would continue, Roc asked, 'Look Jack. We have a long way to go. Do you think we could save our energy for the ride? I need to keep my focus so I don't lose cadence.'

'Not a problem.' Jack decided to enjoy the ride even though his feathers were ruffled by the popularity of MacGregor over his own character. Though he couldn't participate in the physical work of cycling, he could enjoy the view of being outdoors.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

At the next rest stop, Sam turned to her two teammates and stated, "I'm going to take a walk. Be right back." Teal'c nodded his head slowly in acknowledgment.

Daniel's head rose sharply. "Want some company?"

Sam gave him a sly smile. "Sure. Why not!"

As they left the vicinity of the van, Daniel asked, "So whom should we ask?"

Sam looked around and settled on a middle-aged worker who was supervising the unloading of water and other supplies for the cyclists. They stopped in front of him and waited until they had his attention.

"What can I do for you folks? You're SAG, right?" The worker continued with his activity while giving Sam and Daniel part of his attention.

Daniel was puzzled. "How did you know?" The man looked up from his clipboard and pointed his pen to their matching t-shirts which were emblazoned with 'SAG-1.' Roc's sense of humor was evident in the shirts he designed for the members of 'SG-1.' Daniel frowned in annoyance at having to be part of such juvenile humor. He got back to the matter at hand. "We were wondering if you could answer a question."

The worker stopped and gave them his complete attention. "Sure. By the way, name's Bill." He stuck his hand out in greeting.

Daniel shook his hand and responded. "I'm Da . . . Dave and this is . . ."

Sam responded quickly, "Cassandra." Neither of them wanted to give their real names in case Bill was a Stargate fan. Sam gave the worker a winning smile. "We hear that MacGregor is here. Do you know who he . . . .?"

Bill interrupted and his face lit up instantly. "Really? He's here?" He looked around him eagerly. "Where?"

Sam couldn't believe Bill recognized the name so quickly. "Uh! He just left. But we were wondering if you could tell us who MacGregor is."

Bill looked at the two people in front of him as if they were from another planet. "Don't watch much television, do ya?" When they responded in stupefied negative, the worker continued. "MacGregor was a TV detective back in the 80's. He used to get out of jams by disguising himself using common, household items." His face lit up as he reminisced. "My favorite episode was when he used a mop and a colander to . . . . Hey! What are you doing? Get away from there!"

Daniel and Sam were startled as Bill shouted at them. Then they realized he was looking over their shoulders. As they turned around to look behind them, Bill excused himself quickly and ran to a group of cyclists who were rummaging through the boxes at the base of the supply van. An argument ensued, so the two members of SG-1 shrugged and went back to their SAG wagon. They had their answer.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Two thirds of the way through the event, there was a rest stop located at the crest of a steep hill. Many of the cyclists used this opportunity to get a ride back to the starting line rather than continue to pedal the final third. Others decided to cut through the center of the figure eight shaped route thus shortening the final 75 miles. The rest stop had various goodies to fuel the cyclists for the next leg of the ride whether it be by bicycle or car. Banana and orange segments were offered near bagel slices smeared with peanut butter. Other tables offered a variety of cookies and muffins. Of course, water and juice were plentiful. Most riders chose to carry their own special mixtures in their water bottles. Many had pre-arranged refills at this waypoint.

O'Neill directed Roc to stop in a secluded area. They were trying to simplify the abduction by Loki rather than avoid it. The Colonel was feeling restless at the lack of activity. The sooner the kidnapping happened, the sooner the trap to capture the renegade Asgard could be sprung.

Daniel and Teal'c watched closely while Sam monitored the equipment in the van. Thor was silently monitoring from his ship in hidden orbit. He could not transmit communication to the SGC team members lest Loki overhear the transmission.

Teal'c busied himself by scanning the cyclists. He quickly spotted O'Neill among the 100's of cyclists at the event. He observed as the commander of SG-1 walked to a secluded building. Teal'c nodded as O'Neill turned to acknowledge their presence. His nod also indicated that he was going to spring the trap by going to a private area out of visibility and thus provide Loki with an attractive kidnap point. Daniel felt somehow inadequate. He had not spotted Jack and he would never have been aware of Teal'c's stare had he been O'Neill. Daniel sighed and consoled himself that the ability was a warrior thing. He turned his attention back to the secluded building in anticipation.

Shortly after Jack disappeared behind the building, another cyclist stopped. He followed the Colonel behind the building – apparently thinking it was a restroom. Teal'c was alerted by two events that occurred almost simultaneously. A beam of brightness illuminated the back area of the flat-roofed building and then Colonel O'Neill walked back to the front of the building. Teal'c hurriedly left the van while commanding, "Major Carter, Daniel Jackson!" The two teammates quickly dropped what they were doing and attempted to match the alien's long stride. They swiftly walked across the grassy area toward the secluded building and toward their CO.

Jack saw his teammates striding toward him. He turned around to see if he could perceive any danger. But there was no one behind him. The warrior switched into stealth mode; he knew Teal'c would not present himself in public unless there was a good reason. Jack walked behind the building to look for the man who had followed him, but the man was no longer there. He stood for a moment in stunned silence and then turned to his just-arriving teammates. "What's going on?"

Daniel and Sam were slightly out of breath from walking so quickly. They shook their heads in response to O'Neill's question. They both turned to look questioningly at Teal'c. Jack repeated, "What's going on, T?"

The alien showed no signs of exertion after the quick stride across the park. "I observed a glowing light behind this building shortly before you reappeared." The alien raised his ebony head. "Major Carter. This may be a clone."

Sam looked at her CO thoughtfully. "Sir, could I speak with Roc, please."

The actor's lighter features took over the face before her. "How would we know if we were cloned?" Roc pointed to the back of the building. "Where's the guy?"

The actor's features hardened suddenly as O'Neill took over the body in impatience. He scrunched up his face and asked, "Carter? What the hell just happened?"

The blond Major looked confident as she turned to answer Teal'c's original question. "No, Teal'c. They haven't been cloned yet. Thor explained that the cloning process can only duplicate one occupant – the original occupant – of the body. In addition, the cloning process takes time. It couldn't have been completed so quickly."

Teal'c nodded his head in acknowledgment of her wisdom.

As O'Neill spoke, they all turned to him. "Then what happened to that other guy? What was the light that Teal'c saw?"


	8. Part 8

Turnabout is Fair Play – Part 8

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 17 - Not Low Key

The members of SG-1, with Roc in tow, sat at a nearby picnic table to eat a small lunch. Because the table was situated on a slight hill, it allowed them to watch the building while they ate. As the members of SG-1 reviewed the events of the day, they were interrupted by two male cyclists who rode up to the side of the building. "I'm telling you. That's his bike?" The other replied, "Yeah, well then, where is he?"

From their vantage point near the side of the low structure, SG-1 could see a shaft of light pierce the darkened area behind the building. They stopped mid chew because the two newcomers were walking to the back of the building just as the light winked out. They could hear the muffled voices. "There you are. We've been looking all over for you?"

The two were now three as their missing riding buddy rounded the corner with them. "Guys, you won't believe where I just was!" The three stopped near their bicycles. "Well, wherever it was, you better be back soon cause we need to get going if we're going to make the end of this ride while it's still daylight."

"No listen. This is important. I was on an alien spaceship. I got beamed up like with Scotty."

"Knock it off with the jokes, Ben."

"No. You gotta believe me. I was beamed up onto this ship and there was a little grey space alien . . . just like on Stargate. Hey, he looked like one of them Oz Guards." He trailed off when his friends mounted their bicycles and started riding away. "Hey, wait for me!" He started after them.

In the silence, the SG team looked at each other. Inside his head, Roc commented, 'No one ever said Loki was the sharpest knife in the kitchen. How could he kidnap the wrong guy?'

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Scene 18 – End of the Road

The cycling duo continued on the rest of the 200-mile route. The scenery was beautiful and they both enjoyed the respite from their respective busy schedules. O'Neill internally commented, 'Ahh! No trees. My kind of planet.'

'I just realized that you really do go to other planets! What's it like?'

O'Neill allowed Roc to view his memory of a number of his favorite and least favorite planets. Flanders looked at the images with wonder. 'It looks like various places on Earth!'

'Yeah. Carter explained that there are only so many elements with a limited number of combinations allowed by the physical boundaries of . . . something or other.'

As he trailed off, Flanders chuckled. A wave of the Colonel's thought processes came into his consciousness. 'I knew you knew a lot more than you let on."

'What do you mean by that?' O'Neill slyly asked.

'I heard the rest of your thoughts. You actually listen to her and know the words . . . but you love to see the looks on the faces of Sam and Daniel when you purposefully misconstrue what they say!' O'Neill remained internally silent, but Flanders could sense his light humor. A broad grin split his face. O'Neill quickly interjected, 'Don't you dare tell them.'

'Hah! Never. It just gives me more internal motivation when acting. Carter looks kinda cute when she's exasperated, doesn't she? But why do you bait both of them?'

'Ahh! That's easy. Sometimes it's the only way to get a human reaction out of them. They both get so caught up in their work that they forget to look around. I'm just trying to ground them in reality . . . and Carter looks so cute when she's exasperated.' Roc's face wore the same smirk that Jack would have worn had he been in charge.

'The fans think Daniel is cute when exasperated too,' laughed Flanders.

'So – what exactly do the fans think about . . . us? I mean, it's like being in that movie Being John Malcovic. Hey, it's not on at the same time as The Simpsons, is it?'

'No way. I wouldn't allow it.' Flanders responded.

Roc shifted control to the excited Colonel for a moment. "Yesss! Hey Carter, Daniel, Teal'c! He likes the Simpsons as much as I do!" A walking cyclist looked askance at the loud exclamation as Roc and O'Neill pedaled up a steep hill.

An exasperated Sam responded, "Sir, do you see anything unusual?"

"No Carter. Still nothing. Look, we are just about to hit the last rest stop. Are you guys in position?"

"Yes sir. We'll be waiting."

"Samantha, how's our time?" Flanders was curious.

There was silence as Sam made her calculations. "You have about 15 miles left and you're averaging a little behind your previous time on this run."

"Thanks Sam." Silently, Flanders said, 'OK O'Neill, we're going to have to pick it up for the last leg. Let's make this a short stop. If we get serious, we can pick up our time.'

As they began climbing the last hill, Flanders felt a little twinge in his knee. He relayed to O'Neill that this was either really bad or a minor problem. 'Let's take it a little easy up this hill.' A short time later, a well-dressed cyclist pulled alongside Flanders. He was wearing a coordinated cycling outfit that perfectly matched his bicycle. The newcomer called out arrogantly. "Hey old man. There's a SAG wagon coming up behind us if you can't make it up the hill." The cyclist then began increasing the distance between them as he passed.

O'Neill internally yelled, 'Old man? You gonna let him get away with that?' Flanders got a feral look on his face and replied out loud, "Not on your life."

In the van, the members of SG-1 had heard the cyclist and Flanders' response. Carter's brows furrowed in concern. "Sir, what is going on? Don't do anything reckless. Roc, Janet said to be careful!" There was no response.

On the road, Flanders increased his cadence and switched gears. He quickly picked up speed and came up alongside the well-coordinated cyclist. The actor battled with the fashionable cyclist for a quarter of a mile with each gaining the lead at various points. There was still another quarter mile to go before cresting the steep hill. Flanders looked over at the other cyclist and grinned savagely. "Hey Junior, you may look good – but you ride like a sissy." With a burst of speed, Flanders pedaled past the young man and quickly outdistanced him. The young cyclist shook his head and smiled when he realized the older cyclist had been toying with him.

With a look of intense concentration, Flanders continued the rest of the route at the new pace to finish just under his previous time. He collected his souvenir t-shirt and walked stiffly over to his waiting van. Despite fatigue, the cyclist looked at the members of SG-1 with light-featured excitement. "That was fun!"

Sam smiled in response to his infectious smile. "I'm glad you liked it, Roc. Could I speak with Colonel O'Neill?"

The man in front of her cocked his head in puzzlement. "It is me, Carter."

She stammered and then recovered quickly. "Oh! Sorry! Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it, sir. Where do we go from here?"

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Scene 19 – Home Sweet Home

After Roc carefully disassembled his bicycle and packed it in it's travel case, they packed into the van and headed to his home. Jack expressed impatience shortly after starting the 450-mile drive. "Carter, we can't hitch a ride with Thor because . . . why?"

Sam stifled an impatient sigh. She had finally managed to ignore the impatient tapping on the back of her seat, but she had to pay attention when she was directly addressed by her CO. Sam used her index finger to mark her place in the scientific journal she had been reading. She looked back as far as her neck would allow to the tall, grey-haired man sitting in the seat directly behind her. The Colonel was clenching his jaw and somehow looked like he was pacing while buckled into the uncomfortable bench seat. He also looked exhausted from the bicycle ride. Other than stopping for fast food, they had not had a chance to rest from the long day. "Sir. Now that his accomplice is caught, Loki is probably monitoring for any signs of interference . . . such as an Asgard transport beam." Sam then looked over to Daniel, her seat mate and sent a silent plea for some peace.

Daniel acknowledged her plea with a slight nod and silently signaled that he would try to help.

Jack and Roc had an internal dialog about the look that had passed between the two members of SG-1. Both body mates were aware of Daniel's plan to distract them, but they were too tired to fight it. Roc's patience with his fidgety guest was wearing thin because it wasn't his habit to annoy others when he was fatigued. Roc did, in fact, annoy others, but that was beside the point. This time, he was aware that his body was being used to annoy one Major Samantha Carter. The female Major was unable to defend herself against her CO, and Roc felt it was his duty to defend his new-found friend. This started an argument between Roc and Jack that took place entirely within their internal world.

Daniel tapped Sam's shoulder and pointed to the scene in the seat behind them. Roc's facial expressions alternated between the two inhabitants of his body. From the looks of things, neither of the two were happy at the moment. Daniel turned his head forward to look at the driver and met Teal'c's eyes in the rear view mirror. The Jaffa had also noticed the boredom and annoying habits of their CO. Though they didn't know about Roc's habits, the rest of SG-1 knew the signs when their CO needed sleep. As a team, they shifted into action. Teal'c pulled over to the side of the road as soon as it was safe to do so. They were barely stopped before Daniel opened the side, sliding door and stepped out of the van. As he did so, Sam gathered bits of clothing from the floor. Daniel opened the front, passenger door and began removing items from the seating area; the items had been placed there to make more room in the crowded back of the van. The archeologist's face looked as determined as if he were brushing off the ruins of a newly discovered tomb. He slid the seat back as far as it would go and positioned the climate control vents for comfort. Teal'c headed to the back of the vehicle while Daniel took his place as driver.

The Jaffa's no-nonsense tone startled Roc in apparent mid-sentence. "I require this back seat in order to perform Kel-no-reem." Startled, bloodshot eyes met his and the actor nodded in astonishment. "Sure thing, Teal'c." Flanders got up stiffly and crabbed in a half crouch to the middle of the van. He exited through the sliding door and straightened his back very slowly. It was obvious that his knees and back had stiffened painfully while cramped in the back seat. He slowly extended his arms back, rolled his neck, and stretched his back. Roc looked toward his alternate-reality teammates. "We were getting annoying, weren't we?" His question was met with dead silence, so he sheepishly pulled himself into the passenger seat, and buckled the seatbelt. After adjusting the back of the seat to recline, he accepted the articles of clothing that suddenly appeared from the seat behind. The actor smiled at Sam gratefully. He locked the front door and placed the jacket/pillow on the doorjam. He was just able to stretch his legs out and covered himself with Teal'c's large jacket. Roc sighed deeply in contentment. After a brief pause there was another more familiar sigh of contentment as Jack took over. "Goodnight kids."

"Goodnight, sirs."

"Sleep well O'Neill. . . and Flanders."

Daniel looked over and smirked slightly at the cuddly Colonel. He caught a brown-eyed glare through slitted eyes and raised his own eyebrows in complete innocence. "What?" Jack closed his eyes again without replying. Daniel smiled to his two teammates through the rearview mirror. There was some residual shuffling as Teal'c and Sam settled in for the remainder of the drive. But for the first time in the multi-hour ride, there was peace in the van.

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Soon after the sun rose in the early morning hours, the team arrived at the gates of a beautiful home in the hills which overlooked the Pacific Ocean. The hiss of garden sprinklers on the expansive lawn was punctuated by the distant sound of waves crashing against the craggy shoreline. Rising sunrays glinted off the spray of water from the sprinklers. A crisp, cool, ocean scent wafted over the team and was refreshing after yesterday's dry, dusty heat. Roc looked at peace in his own surroundings. He strode past the natural beauty of colorful, native flowers and billowy grasses that decorated the front walkway to his home.

As he reached the front door, the actor felt suddenly nervous. He realized that he wanted to impress his counterparts from the alternate universe. "Come on in. It's not much, but I call it home." He stood in the doorway and waved them inside.

Major Carter entered first. She had a tentative look as if she was expecting a room full of Air Force Generals to be waiting inside. Daniel followed very closely behind. In contrast to his female teammate, he appeared eager and impatient to explore. Teal'c looked impassive and nodded before proceeding indoors. Roc joked with O'Neill. 'After you.' O'Neill accepted control of the body and strode confidently into the foyer. He stopped alongside his three teammates and stared.

Sam couldn't believe the size of the home. It was apparent from the two deep doorways that the first floor continued further back while an elaborate staircase hinted at a sumptuous second floor. From the outside, the home looked deceptively small because it was deeper than it was wide.

Roc recognized the look of astonishment, so he explained. "There was an addition built on the original house by the second owner."

Daniel was also in awe, but for different reasons. He was pointing to a painting on the wall. "Isn't that . . . ?"

Roc looked embarrassed but pleased by the attention. "Um! Yeah. It's an original." But Daniel had already moved onto a piece of sculpture not apparent from the entrance way.

Sam was about to apologize when she realized the stranger in the group was accustomed to the behavior of the curious archeologist. She gave a rare, wide grin to Roc. Roc felt his heart lurch. He contrasted the elegant beauty of his costar, Angela Turner with the woman before him. Sam's natural girl-next-door charm was as innocent as it was sexy. Angela often magically conveyed this on camera, but this was the first time Roc had seen it in person. He was brought out of his reflection by O'Neill's internal voice. 'Earth to Roc! Helloooo!' Roc realized that Sam was looking a little uncomfortable under his stare. "Oh, sorry. Let me show you the rest of the house."

As the actor turned suddenly, he almost bumped into an immovable Teal'c. Up close, the alien's opinion of his surroundings was not apparent. He had the same intimidating look he wore when facing execution at the hands of a system lord. Roc moved back and directed a thought to his internal body mate. 'So O'Neill. What does Teal'c think about my place?' After a short pause, Roc got the hint. Aloud, he said, "Right. Let me show you where I really live."

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/AN: Hey guys? There's gotta be more than one person reading this, right? Can you click on the little feedback button? Please feed the author . . . something. I don't bite. As you see, I'm not above begging. (smile)/


	9. Part 9

Turnabout is Fair Play – Part 9

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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/ Previously on Stargate SG-1 /

As the actor turned suddenly, he almost bumped into an immovable Teal'c. Up close, the alien's opinion of his surroundings was not apparent. He had the same intimidating look he wore when facing execution at the hands of a system lord. Roc moved back and directed a thought to his internal body mate. 'So O'Neill. What does Teal'c think about my place?' After a short pause, Roc got the hint. Aloud, he said, "Right. Let me show you where I really live."

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Scene 20 - Opportunity

After a tour of the home and grounds, Roc led them into the large kitchen. The cooking area was decorated to be somewhat primitive with a large wooden table underneath hanging pots and pans. Eight bulky, but comfortable-looking chairs welcomed visitors in this less-than-formal dining area. A plush sectional sofa divided the large room to allow a seating area off to the side. From the kitchen table, the side edge of a big screen television was apparent opposite the couch. But the room was dominated by a beautiful, river-stone fireplace, which covered the wall directly opposite the kitchen area. The overall effect was one of homey comfort. It was now obvious why Roc stated he would show them where he really lived. Roc gestured to the sofa. "Please, make yourselves at home. Are you hungry?"

His question was met with two pairs of large blue eyes and one pair of brown eyes, which were exotically accented by interested eyebrows. Flanders laughed. "I'll fix something to eat, and then we can rest. We'll be alone here today because my family is out of state." Sam removed her shoes and curled up on the sofa. Daniel walked around the perimeter of the room to study the pictures and other memorabilia on the walls. O'Neill exclaimed in irritation, "Daniel, we're not on an archeological dig. You don't have to study the walls, for crying out loud!"

Flanders quickly followed with his own response. "Daniel, please feel free to look at anything you'd like. That goes for all of you." Daniel looked back triumphantly toward Flanders, but then frowned in confusion and frustration because Jack was in the same body. He decided to change the subject instead. "Roc, have you met all the people in these photos?" He was amazed at the collection of photographs – some included famous sports figures and well-known movie stars. There were framed covers from national and international magazines, which featured Roc on the cover. A number of them showed Jack O'Neill and the rest of SG-1 in full uniform. Daniel turned when he realized that the actor had never answered his question. Roc's face was flushed in embarrassment. Daniel realized that the actor was very much like O'Neill in the fact that he didn't like the recognition. One of the walls in Jack's home was covered with various awards and medals, but the decorated airman never wanted to talk about them. He wondered why both men displayed the awards if they didn't want to talk about them. He chalked it up to another mysterious piece of Jack O'Neill.

Daniel was startled by a change in subject. "Do you have Star Wars, Flanders?" Teal'c was looking through the video collection cleverly hidden behind a pillar.

The actor replied with a grin, "Uh, No Teal'c. The only Science Fiction you'll find in this house is the SG-1 collection." The room became quiet as they all looked toward him.

Sam spoke first. "You mean, we can watch your show? Our show? With us?" She waved at her fellow teammates.

Flanders laughed, "Yeah, I thought you might like to see it. It might answer some questions for you. That is, if the same events happened in your . . . reality. They're in chronological order."

Sam got up to join Teal'c and began looking through the video collection. "Hey! We aren't in the first movie! I mean, it isn't /gestures to her teammates/ us? Colonel, you're played by . . ." They were interrupted by the telephone ringing.

"Excuse me." Flanders nodded as he backed out of the room. He took the business call in the next room, but kept the team in sight by standing in the doorway. O'Neill insisted on being in view of his teammates. The call was from the script courier who was trying to coordinate delivery of an updated script for the shoot the following day. They finally agreed that the courier would bring the script to his trailer in Vancouver. After hanging up, Flanders / O'Neill re-entered the room to find the rest of the team enthralled in front of the big screen television.

"Jack, you've got to see this! You're the star of the show and an executive producer!"

Flanders shyly responded. "Daniel, we are all stars on the show – including the people behind the camera. The show couldn't happen without every single person. No one is more important than anyone else." He waited a moment to let his words sink in. "Hey listen, I'm going to take a soak in the tub and I . . . we'll be right down. Help yourselves to anything in the kitchen." O'Neill internally expressed disappointment that he wouldn't get to watch with the others. Flanders responded, 'Sorry, but my back will stiffen up if I don't apply some heat and do some stretches.' Out loud O'Neill said, "See you kids in a bit." With a barely perceptible signal from the rest of SG-1, Teal'c accompanied his CO. O'Neill had ordered that a member of SG-1 be in the room with Flanders at all times. Since the rest of the team was hidden from Asgard sensors because of Replicator technology, there was no fear that the presence of another person would prevent Loki from initiating the abduction.

A little over half an hour later, Roc/O'Neill and Teal'c came back downstairs into the kitchen area. As they entered the room, a shouting voice was heard from the television. /'Three fries short of a Happy Meal ... WACKO!'/

Roc and Jack both enjoyed the sight of Sam and Daniel grinning on the couch. They were apparently enjoying whatever they were watching. Something niggled at the back of O'Neill's mind, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. The dialogue on the television continued while Roc looked through his mail at the kitchen table.

On the television, the tapping sounds of chalk on a blackboard were interrupted by intermittent dialogue. O'Neill looked over to make sure that it wasn't really Daniel and Teal'c speaking. The alien had joined his teammates and was currently sitting on a stool behind them. Teal'c appeared enraptured. "O'Neill, I suggest you observe."

The Colonel was looking through Roc's mail to vicariously see how his life turned out in this universe. He absently responded, "Yeah! In a minute, T." In the background/'Exactly how many of these loops have you ... we ... been ... thru?'/

O'Neill's eyes bugged out of his imaginary head as Roc pulled a photograph from the next envelope. It was a picture of Roc with his arm comfortably around the shoulders of the airman's favorite actress. 'You know her?'

Roc grinned and responded silently, 'If you're a good boy, I'll let you take this picture with you.'

Jack wanted to know more details about the relationship between Roc and . . . . Jack panicked as he replayed what Danny's voice had just said on the television. /'Well, think about it. If you know in advance that everything will be going back to the way it was, then . . . you could do anything . . . for as long as you want without having to worry about consequences.'/

Roc quickly released control of their mutual body when he realized what was happening. O'Neill's eyes popped open in panic and he rushed over to see the view screen just in time to see his television image stand up and excuse himself.

Sam giggled. "Roc, you certainly have the Colonel down." Her grin froze and her mind went into hyperdrive when she looked up into the panicked face of her CO.

O'Neill calmly asked for the remote control by holding out his hand. His teammates sensed that he was in a panic and had quickly deduced the reason – he didn't want them to know what he had done during the time loops. This was too good an opportunity to resist, so Daniel deliberately kept the remote out of his grasp by tossing it to Teal'c. Even Sam got into the fracas. With a disgusted look, O'Neill began walking toward the television to shut it off manually. His face expressed triumph as he reached for the off switch. All of a sudden his movements froze. His teammates wondered why until they saw the amused features of their host replace the Colonel's self-satisfied expression. "Jack, I believe your team would like to know what they missed." He grinned as the panicked airman screamed threats in his head. The actor's face suddenly blanched, and he quickly reached to turn off the television. He ejected the DVD and then silently left the room with the disk in hand.

Daniel looked after the retreating figure. "I wonder what that was all about." Sam joined him to look after Roc's stiffly retreating back.

The morning passed uneventfully. Roc looked refreshed after having slept a couple hours in his own bed. He opened a sleepy eye to see Samantha Carter peering intently into his face. He gave her a drowsy grin and reassured her. "We're both still here, Major Carter."

She looked embarrassed having been caught staring at him while he slept. She couldn't get over the fact that the two men shared the same body. She averted her eyes as they sat at the edge of the bed. "Sir, what are the plans for the day?" She had decided it was better to err on the side of caution when communicating with the dual personalities, so she addressed the two men as she would her CO.

Flanders was amused by O'Neill's internal exasperation at the formality of her question. 'Oh! For crying out loud! For just once, I'd like to know how she would treat me if I were just . . . some guy.' The actor quickly relinquished control to the airman which caught the Colonel at the end of a scowl. O'Neill's expression softened as he replied with light sarcasm. He punctuated his response with characteristic hand movements. "Carter, first I'm going to take a long, hot shower. Flanders seems to think it will help his back. Believe me, I'm all for anything that will help his back. Then I'm going to eat breakfast. I might even watch a little television, but that's completely up to my cell mate."

Carter's face was flushed with embarrassment at his detailed response. She disliked having to question his every move, but she was responsible for their safety. Because O'Neill was currently compromised, Sam was officially in charge of this mission. But why did it have to feel so uncomfortable managing this man; she had commanded many other people in the past and had never experienced this much discomfort. Sam had renewed sympathy for what General Hammond had to go through. She swallowed nervously and gave herself a pep talk. 'Buck up airman.' The Major continued her thought process. She was expected to continually monitor the actor during her shift, but she felt she was encroaching on her CO and Roc by being present when they took a shower. Though the members of SG-1 had been intimately close for the past seven years, she was not comfortable alone with her wet, naked CO a couple feet away. Her quick mind thought of a way out. "Sir, if you would rather, Teal'c can . . ." Her indecision was interrupted by the actor's soft-spoken suggestion.

"Major Carter, the bathroom is pretty large. You can sit on the other side of the room and you won't see anything." Sam quickly peeked in to see the double sink with an additional seating area along one wall, a shower enclosure separate from the large, sunken Jacuzzi tub, and a door dividing the bathroom from the secluded toilet. She turned and nodded her assent. Roc smiled gently at her relief. He shook his head in disbelief at the officers' situation.

A gruff voice continued, "Besides, Carter. It's not my body that you would see anyway."

Sam realized that the Colonel thought he was helping the situation, but it only made it worse to think of the gorgeously fit body in front of her as 'just a man' rather than as her 'against regulations' CO. She turned away and tried to gulp away her discomfort unobtrusively. It was already getting hot in the room.

The Colonel sighed, put his hands on his knees, and pushed off from the bed. He disappeared in a closet and reappeared shortly with fresh clothing. Somewhere along the line, Flanders had taken over control. As Sam followed him into the open bathroom, he ushered her to sit on a chair in the doorway. She could watch from a distance through the mirror, but the shower itself was not visible. "I hope you like opera." Sam cocked her head in puzzlement. She heard the water turn on in the shower. Sam's curiosity about the earlier cryptic comment was satisfied when she found out that Flanders had speakers in the bathroom and liked to play opera music loudly while showering. Sam couldn't help her surreptitious looks when the actor began removing his clothing at the far end of the bathroom. She averted her eyes quickly when she saw him turn to look in her direction. "No peeking." He smirked.

The sounds of the water spray were diluted by the blaring opera music. As time passed, steam slowly fogged the mirrors and Carter became indecisive about whether she should move in closer. Her sense of duty won out and she crabbed hesitantly into the room. "Roc? Sir? Are you doing OK?" There was no response. "Sir?" When she still got no response she quickly ran to stand before the shower. It was empty. Major Carter keyed her radio. "He's gone."

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AN: Thank you to those of you who reviewed both publicly and privately. It really makes this author's day. You should see my face light up with glee. In fact, my face freezes up on that last word.


	10. Part 10

_A/N: At the suggestion of my beta, I figured out how to open up anonymous reviews. I didn't know it was closed. Anyway, thank you for the lovely reviews I've received. Isabel, you didn't leave an email address. In answer to your question, I've posted on Jackfic, Heliopolis, and Helio2. Those are all unbeta'd so I apologize for the errors (and there are many)._

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Turnabout is Fair Play – Part 10

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 21 – Shipped off

Flanders became disoriented when his body shifted 90 degrees into a horizontal position. The room was cold on his wet skin; he was thankful he had rinsed the soap out of his hair before being transported. Leave it to the Asgard to choose the shower as a time to transport him. Roc observed four green lights above him. He could not feel a surface supporting his back, and he wondered if he was floating. A voice inside said, 'Oh yeah! We're floating. I remember this now.'

O'Neill requested control of the body in order to perform recognizance of the room. Besides the glowing green lights, the room contained various screens with unreadable data – presumably data retrieved by constant scanning of the actor's body. The only other life form present was a reddish-colored Asgard standing in an enclosed force field to the left of the doorway. It was not moving and its eyes were closed. On the right of the doorway a familiar, box-like container sat on a pedestal. The ornate vessel had a design similar to the one Thor had shown them at the SGC a couple of days earlier. This box, however, was a deep blue color with black trim. The inlaid design was silver instead of gold. The opening glowed a welcoming pearlescent color. His visual scan was interrupted when Roc commented again about the cold. 'Yeah, it would be nice to be wearing . . . something.'

Their internal dialogue was interrupted by the appearance of a mobile Asgard. Roc quickly took control, but shot off a request. 'O'Neill, just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll act it out.'

O'Neill responded silently, 'We just need to make sure he doesn't suspect that I'm here. Act like . . . yourself, acting like . . . yourself.' After a brief pause while they both processed the duality of their situation, O'Neill commented gruffly, 'Just make sure he doesn't scan your memories.'

Flanders watched as the Asgard continued to his side. He was struck by this alien's resemblance to Thor, but then again, he could never tell the difference between the props – they all looked alike. Flanders made his eyes widen in shock. "You look just like Thor. But how can that be? What kind of trick is this?"

"I am called Loki. You are not imagining this. I am aware of your television program about a Stargate. You may not be aware that the stories are true in my reality." The alien enjoyed these moments of superiority over his subjects.

Roc decided to reel him in further, so he widened his eyes with sudden insight. "Wait a minute. Weren't you in the episode where an Asgard kidnapped O'Neill and replaced him with a younger clone?"

"Yes. That is correct. In order to create a superior Asgard clone and save my race from extinction, I have come to your reality in order to harvest your DNA. As you may remember, Thor modified Colonel O'Neill's DNA to prevent further experimentation. I have circumvented those safeties because I have ascertained that you possess the Ancient gene." His eyes flickered to the encased Asgard body. "I have also acquired additional technology to speed up the cloning process. A Goa'uld named Nirrti discovered an Ancient piece of equipment which can modify the existing DNA of any life form." Loki pointed to the unmoving body near the door. "This Asgard body will be modified with your DNA. There is currently no occupant of the body, so there are no ethical considerations. I hope to present my findings in person to the Asgard High Council. By doing so, I will regain their respect and save our race."

Flanders was perturbed that the theft of his DNA was deemed below ethical consideration. He couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice. "What if I don't want you to use my DNA? What if I refuse?"

Loki tilted his head and calmly responded. "That would be futile, for you have no choice in this matter. Since you are unable to contact them, the High Council will be unaware of how I came to acquire the DNA. I plan to detain you for one of your Earth days. I will return you after I am sure the modifications have been completed successfully."

Roc continued the pretense. "They'll miss me and wonder where I am."

Loki didn't even bother to look up from the monitors as he replied. "That is incorrect Flanders. You were alone in your home and you are not due to arrive to the filming location until tomorrow afternoon. I have already set the ship to transport you directly into your trailer. No one will miss your absence. Neither will they believe you should you wish to report this incident. But as an extra precaution, I will wipe your memory clean of these events."

Flanders had no further comments. The alien seemed to have thought of everything.

"I will now begin your body scan. Do not worry. You will remain unchanged by the process. After I am sure the process has been completed successfully, I will do a brain scan and erase your memory of all that has transpired here." He moved a stone and Nirrti's machine began to glow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The rest of SG-1 quickly contacted Thor to report the disappearance of Flanders and O'Neill. Thor transported them to his ship immediately. He gambled on his knowledge of Loki's personality traits and hoped the renegade was too focused on his project to notice the extra transmissions. "Major Carter. Are you aware of whether or not O'Neill took the crystal and box with him? It is important that he have the ability to transfer out of Flanders before Loki detects his presence. For if Loki performs a memory scan, he may deliberately delete O'Neill's essence. Then he would be lost to us."

Carter replied thoughtfully. "Thor, the Colonel didn't have time to bring the box. But we didn't find the crystal anywhere. I can only assume that Colonel O'Neill would have tried to bring it with him. But they were in the shower when they were abducted. There aren't too many places to . . . hide a crystal when one is naked."

Daniel pursed his eyebrows in thought and gave a sidelong look to Teal'c. The Jaffa frowned and rumbled deeply, "Indeed!"

Daniel lightly touched his thumb and index finger to his chin as he questioned, "Thor, aren't we supposed to . . . beam to Jack's location to rescue Flanders?"

Thor was gazing intently into a portable monitor. "The crystal, which also acts as a homing device, is undetectable at this time. I am afraid O'Neill will have to free himself."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Roc couldn't believe how tiring the body scan was. He fell into a deep sleep shortly after Loki turned off the machine. He was awakened by a Munchkin exclamation of glee. "It worked! They will have to respect me now!" The renegade Asgard shuffled quickly from the room.

O'Neill had remained awake during the scan. He waited for his body mate to fully awaken. 'I have to transfer out before he returns. We can't let him get away with this.'

Roc was puzzled. 'Where is the rest of SG-1? Shouldn't they be rescuing us by now? Thor said he would beam to our location.'

O'Neill's response was practical. 'We can't rely on them right now. Let's come up with Plan B.' After a period of silent thought, O'Neill requested control of the body. After briefly filling in the actor on his part of the plan, O'Neill transferred the red crystal from his cheek to his front teeth. The crystal began to glow and a red beam shot out from his mouth toward the doorway.

After the beam ended, Flanders looked closely at the ornate blue box. He didn't notice any discernable difference in the glow from the small opening. As soon as Loki released him from the force field, Roc was to overpower the physically weaker alien and call for assistance using the control panel he would hopefully find in the other room. Under no circumstance was he to leave the ship without taking the blue 'sanctuary' with him. The actor was excited and nervous about this upcoming, very real performance. He did not want to disappoint his teammates. He smiled at the thought that he was currently a member of SG-1. As he attempted to make a silent comment to O'Neill, he remembered that he was now alone in his body.

Loki entered the room in an excited shuffle. As he checked a few of the multiple screens that decorated the interior, the alien steepled his fingers together and exclaimed, "Excellent."

Roc rolled his eyes before drawing attention to himself, "Helleeew! I'm still here."

The grey alien turned his body toward his subject. "You will remain to witness the genius of my work. It is unfortunate that I have to erase your memory before I return you to your world. I have already downloaded the sum of Asgard knowledge into this new body which will become my new home." He turned back to the monitors and carefully changed some of the settings. Then he shuffled toward the force field around the modified Asgard body while muttering with glee. His chest rapidly expanded and contracted with his excited breaths. After he shifted the stone to remove the force field, Loki prepared himself to catch the limp body before it collapsed to the floor.

Flanders watched with trepidation. He had not expected Loki to transfer his own consciousness into the new body. He wasn't sure how this fit into their escape plan. Though the reddish alien body looked more muscular than a typical Asgard, Roc suspected he could still overpower it.

After a brief delay, the Asgard body lurched forward onto Loki and they both fell to the floor. Loki appeared to have difficulty getting up from underneath the body. There was a lot of writhing, but no apparent progress. Roc suddenly realized that the writhing was due to the hold the new Asgard had on Loki. His body was quickly turned face down with his arm behind his back. The new Asgard turned to the actor and commanded in a Chipmunks ® voice, "Flanders, spit the crystal toward me."

Flanders was stunned for only a moment before he complied. The crystal shot through the air and the new Asgard placed the device into a groove in his palm. A red beam shot from the crystal, through Loki's head, and into the deep blue sanctuary. All struggling ceased as the beam transmission ended. The new Asgard jumped onto his feet and shuffled toward the actor. He released Flanders from the force field. "Good job Rocco. How did you know it was me? I told you I was beaming into the box."

Roc bluffed. "I've acted like you for years. I knew what you were going to do." Jack bobbed his head in disappointed acknowledgment. Roc thought it looked odd in the alien body, but he had seen the puppeteers in Vancouver do funnier things with the Asgard puppets. "Well! What do we do now, Jack?"

Jack averted his eyes from Roc's naked body and shuffled into the next room. "Why don't we check to see if this ship can make you a set of clothing. We wouldn't want . . . Teal'c to be embarrassed by your current state." Jack stopped in mid stride and looked down at his current, alien body. He continued with horrified disgust. "Apparently, I don't have anything that needs hiding."

The actor winced in sympathy and followed the airman into the next room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thor and SG-1 were startled to hear a communication from Flanders through the Asgard communicator. "SG-1, this is Roc. Can you read? Is this thing working?"

"Yes Flanders. Where are you located?"

"Thor! Good to hear you. Uh! We're aboard Loki's ship. I believe Colonel O'Neill is attempting to . . . de-cloak the sensors. . . . You should be able to pick up our signal . . . now."

Thor puzzled over these last comments while he shuffled a number of stones on a console. "Yes, I am able to observe your life signature." He saw a human and two Asgard bodies. He quickly deduced that the extra Asgard was part of Loki's experiment. He was curious about the unusual life signs emanating from it, but thought he would address the anomaly in person. "We will beam aboard your vessel at once."

Roc immediately shouted, "No! Jack just discovered that this ship will automatically return to its original reality in one minute. We'll meet you at the filming location in Vancouver. Flanders out." The line clicked abruptly and there was no response to their attempts at communication. Thor was unable to find their location on his sensors.

The members of SG-1 looked at each other in puzzlement. Sam was the first to speak. "Apparently, Colonel O'Neill has transferred out Roc's body, but to where? And how did they figure out how to transport to Vancouver?"

Daniel frowned. He also lacked confidence in Jack's ability to manipulate technology. "I don't know. But I guess we'll find out when we get there."

As one, the three, team members turned to Thor. Sam asked, "Thor, are our disguises ready?"

In response, the short alien handed each a familiar pendant. "Major Carter, I have enhanced the devices to mimic your emotions in a manner expected for the character you will portray. Only your appearance will be completely modified, however. The pitch and tone of your voice will also be modified, but cadence and inflections will remain your own. I apologize for the incompleteness, but the devices require a direct connection to another living being in order to complete the simulation."

Sam nodded her understanding. As one, the three members of SG-1 applied the alien shape-shifting devices to their chests. All three were instantly transformed. Sam and Daniel stared at each other in dismay. They promptly pulled off their pendants, swapped with each other, and reapplied them. The two human members of SG-1 breathed a sigh of relief. Sam turned to Thor. "We're ready."


	11. Part 11

_AN: Just got back from being SAG wagon for a 100-mile cycle event. Tiring, but fun. Nope! Roc Flanders wasn't there grin ._

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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_/Previously on Stargate SG-1/_

_Sam nodded her understanding. As one, the three members of SG-1 applied the alien shape-shifting devices to their chests. All three were instantly transformed. Sam and Daniel stared at each other in dismay. They promptly pulled off their pendants, swapped with each other, and reapplied them. The two human members of SG-1 breathed a sigh of relief. Sam turned to Thor. "We're ready."_

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Scene 22 – Lucy! I'm home

A column of blue light brightened the interior of Roc's unoccupied trailer. Had there been a casual observer, he or she would have been startled by the appearance of Roc Flanders and two, little aliens with large heads. Colonel O'Neill, who was now housed in the reddish Asgard body, carelessly tossed the blue box with Loki's essence on a side table. After Flanders sat Loki's uninhabited body in the middle of the sofa, he asked, "Now what?"

O'Neill painfully craned his little neck to look up to his counterpart. "Do ya have ta stand so close?" He mumbled, "Never knew I was so damned tall. Need to make it up to the little guy next time I see him." His voice was already muffled due to the tiny mouth opening the Asgard possessed, so Roc sat down to hear Jack more clearly. The Colonel nodded his head in thanks. "Roc, just do what you would normally do. We don't want to arouse suspicion or panic anyone. I don't think your world is ready for this yet. Meanwhile, we wait here until SG-1 finds us."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Roc. You in there?" The door handle started turning. Flanders stood still in panic. Jack quickly climbed up onto the nearby sofa and collapsed next to the body of Loki.

Daniel's face poked into the doorway. "Hey, Roc. When did you get in? I saw a flash of light and thought you might be watching the game. Mind if I watch with you?" He got a gleam in his eye. "Our two favorite teams are playing . . . against each other." His gleam turned evil. "It started about an hour ago, but I was in the middle of shooting. You don't have any scenes until later tonight . . . if you're lucky. We're running behind."

As Flanders realized the identity of his new guest, he mumbled with disappointment. "You're not Daniel, are you?"

"Nice try, Roc. You didn't study your lines, did you? Hey, cool box!" Denny, the actor who played Daniel Jackson, absently picked up the ornate blue box. It had covered the script placed on the table beneath it. He sighed in pretend disgust. "You haven't even opened it yet." He put his hand on Roc's arm in a friendly gesture. "Come on, we'll run lines during commercials." He moved toward the couch despite Roc's attempt at polite protest. "Whoa! What are you doing with these props in your trailer?" He picked up the reddish Asgard and balanced him on the farthest armrest to make room on the sofa.

Roc followed and sat on the couch with Loki sitting between him and Denny. He could see O'Neill's impassive face just beyond Denny's shoulder. The giant head moved slightly in Roc's direction and big eyes rolled in disgust.

Denny touched the Asgard in front of him. "Hmmm! His body is warm. You know, I've never actually been unsupervised with one of these things." He grinned evilly, then shifted his body to turn the puppet over. His movements knocked O'Neill off his perch on the armrest behind him, and a heavy thud sounded as the body impacted the floor. "Oops! Sorry!" Denny shouted out absently, as he explored the nether regions of the puppet in front of him. "Nope. No openings. I wonder if the other one has . . ."

Roc quickly interrupted Denny as he turned to retrieve the other puppet. "I'm sorry Denny, but I'm really tired. Could we do this later? It's been a rough coupla days."

Denny quickly stood up. "Sure, Roc. Sorry, I didn't realize you had just gotten here." His eyes suddenly narrowed in suspicion as he asked, "You're not injured, are you?"

Roc smiled, "Nope. Not this time. I even managed to beat my last time on the bike event. But we can talk about that later. Maybe we can all do dinner. Sound good?"

"Yeah! I'll round up the guys and we'll see you later." The outside door closed behind the actor, leaving the trailer in temporary silence.

Roc heard a groan from the other side of the couch. "Damn big heads weigh a ton. I'm surprised it didn't crack open when I hit the floor."

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Sam looked at the unfamiliar exteriors of her two teammates. She wondered if they found her appearance just as disconcerting. They had just arrived at the Greater Vancouver Regional District, or the GVRD, as it was known. Here, the cast and crew of Stargate SG-1 were currently filming a series of scenes of a Central American jungle. She looked to Daniel for an explanation, but belatedly realized he wouldn't understand her unfamiliar facial expressions. She sighed, "Daniel. Do you recognize this scenery?"

Daniel flipped his ponytail arrogantly out of the way. Sam wondered if Thor had given his character too much attitude. "Sam, this looks like Central America. They must be filming the mission where Dr. Lee and I were captured by the rebels." Under his breath he muttered, "Though I don't know how they're going to pull off a jungle in this cold."

The Major was secretly glad that Daniel's vocal mannerisms remained familiar. Apparently, the alien technology required a direct link to the original in order to imitate speech patterns. "Teal'c, are you doing OK?"

In a high-pitched voice, the Jaffa replied, "Yes, Major Carter. I suggest if we are to rescue O'Neill and Flanders, we need to begin searching immediately."

She nodded her matronly head solemnly. "I agree. We'll cover more ground if we split up." As Teal'c moved to head off by himself, Major Carter took a close look at his youthful appearance. "Uh! Teal'c? You're too young to be off by yourself. We'll need to stick together." He nodded his acquiescence, and in so doing his little girl image bobbed her head eagerly. Major Carter turned to the archeologist next. "Daniel, will you be OK on your own?"

He rolled his eyes in disgusted annoyance. His hesitant voice didn't match his cocky appearance. "Um! Yeah!"

Sam thought to herself that it would take a while to get used to the discord between Daniel's appearance and voice. Her teammates waited for a verbal signal since the patient, matronly smile she wore did not reveal her intentions. "OK, let's find them."

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Roc watched the red alien pace the cramped quarters in the trailer for over an hour. Out of boredom, Jack had already read the episode script in less than 15 minutes. Apparently, while in this body, he possessed some of the special abilities inherent to the Asgard. Patience did not appear to be one of those abilities. Roc was just about to interrupt the annoying pacing when a knock on the door caused both men to freeze. With one quick look, they both moved apart. Because they had shared one body, they had learned to anticipate the actions of the other. While Roc went to answer the door, O'Neill secluded himself in the bathroom.

The door opened to reveal a woman with a clipboard and a headset. She quickly relayed a message from Willie, the Director. After closing the door, Flanders decided to call Willie. Then he realized he didn't have his cell phone. The device was still back in his home, since it hadn't been transported with him to Loki's ship. He was going to have to leave the trailer to respond to the message.

Roc knocked outside the closed bathroom door and fleetingly wondered if O'Neill was using the facilities. More importantly, he wondered how he would use the facilities, so the actor opened the door. "Jack, I have to go to a meeting to discuss . . . script . . . changes." He was startled to see O'Neill staring closely at his own reflection. Skinny, alien feet were balanced on an overturned pail to reach the mirror.

Jack continued looking through the mirror as he replied distractedly. "What?"

The actor thought O'Neill would have been used to unusual experiences like this. "What are you doing?"

A large alien eye rotated to fix Roc's image through the mirror. "Whadaya think I'm doing? It's not like I can ask Thor to open up his mouth to see if he has teeth . . . or tonsils . . . or nose hairs for crying out loud."

Fighting back a grin, Roc repeated his earlier sentence. "I have to go to a meeting to talk about script changes. They're having trouble making this episode work." He backed out of the room, but turned back quickly as a thought came to mind. "Hey, so what exactly did you do to rescue Daniel when he was kidnapped in Central America?"

Since O'Neill had already read the script, he quickly gave Roc details of the differences between the script and the real-life events. As the actor left for his meeting, he asked, "You gonna be OK here alone?"

O'Neill waved his four-fingered hand in dismissal. "Yeah. Don't worry. How much trouble could I get into in a trailer out in the middle of nowhere?" After the door closed behind the retreating actor, Jack looked around for something to do while waiting. He spotted an open DVD container and closed it to look at the cover. "Oh yeah, baby!" He pressed play on the television remote and the opening sounds of The Simpsons were heard in surround sound. "Sweet!"


	12. Part 12

_Authors Note: Remember that I've turned on anonymous feedback. So if you enjoy this story or think my writing could improve (be nice), please click the button. Say Hi! Set a spell. (Hm! Stargate / Beverly Hillbillies crossover? Hmmm!)_

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 23 – On the Wander

As Roc hurried to his meeting, a matronly woman and her pre-teen granddaughter stopped him. Thinking they were fans, he gave them a 100-watt smile. "What can I do for you ladies?"

It took a moment for Samantha Carter to recover from seeing the face of her CO with such an unguarded, happy expression. By that time, Teal'c had responded to the question. "Flanders, we are not ladies." This insult got a quick turn of Sam's elderly head and a stern look. Teal'c patiently explained, "I am a Jaffa disguised as a young girl and would not be classified as a lady." The alien turned apologetically to the matronly woman. "Samantha Carter, however, is indeed a lady."

Roc laughed in delight. "I can't wait to tell the guys. It's just too bad I can't see your real facial expression, Teal'c. I don't think Terry has ever had to portray you as foot-in-mouth embarrassed before."

The little girl's face morphed into a pout, which enhanced the image from the Jaffa's crossed arms. The matronly Sam had trouble keeping the smile from her face. Apparently, the alien pendant amplified Teal'c's true emotions. She turned her attention back to the actor. "Where is Colonel O'Neill?" She was curious as to where his consciousness resided, since she knew his body was still on Thor's ship.

The actor pointed his thumb over his shoulder. "He's back in my trailer."

The annoyance in Sam's next question was belied by the patience on her matronly face. "No, I mean, where is he? Where is his consciousness?"

"Oh! That." Roc prolonged her curious anguish by pausing. He could imagine Carter's determined, clenched lips and widened eyes, as she impatiently waited for an answer. Instead, he continued to see an impassive, half-smiling mask. He sighed in disappointment. "Loki was perfecting an Asgard clone. O'Neill transported himself into the prototype body."

Sam was speechless while Teal'c's image appeared to giggle silently.

Roc smiled at their reactions. "I'll take you to my trailer as soon as I finish this quick meeting with the Director. It's probably better if you wait outside."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Daniel walked around the busy outdoor set and inwardly cringed at the building before him. Memories of the Central American hut where he was so recently tortured still haunted his dreams.

The set designer walked in behind Daniel. He was checking to make sure his last orders had been carried out. He noticed one incongruity between yesterday's shoot and frowned in annoyance. This would have to be changed. He noticed a burly man standing in front of the hut with a t-shirt that had, 'Props Dept.' emblazoned across the back. He called out, "Hey you." The man flipped his ponytail as he turned to face the set designer. The front of his shirt read, 'Is that your head, or did your neck throw up?' After a brief chuckle, he said, "I need you to do something for me." Daniel held his breath in dread of the request. "I need you to go to the Director's meeting and tell them we have a problem." After hearing the nature of the problem, Daniel left to complete the requested task. It wouldn't do to blow their cover. Besides, he could search for Jack just as easily while walking around the set.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Willie, the Director, was pleased with Roc's ideas to modify the rescue scenes. Earlier in the meeting, they had discussed having Thor take part in the rescue, but the puppets that were used to play Thor were in sad need of repair. Roc's idea would completely eliminate the need for the puppets. He wondered how the actor had come up with a solution so quickly – and without the usual smart aleck suggestions. One time, the actor, slash executive producer had suggested they kill Hathor by dousing her with water and having her screech out, 'I'm meltinnngggg!' Willie thought that was carrying the Wizard of Oz reference a little too far.

Roc left the meeting with the implausible excuse that he had to study his lines. Everyone knew he adlibbed most of his scenes. The Director shrugged his shoulders and decided to compare Roc's idea with his own, previous idea for the upcoming scene. He turned to the remaining meeting attendees. "Let's get the Asgard puppets to try out both scene ideas." Willie jumped up to find someone to bring the puppets. After he opened the door, he praised his luck when he saw a flash of 'Props Dept.' walk by the trailer. He ran out to catch the young man wearing the t-shirt.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Earlier in the day, the head of the Props department had made a decision regarding the Asgard puppets. She had read the script ideas for the rest of the season and noticed that Thor did not appear in any of the remaining episodes. It was time the puppets went out for repair. She sent one of her employees out with both versions of Thor. The newest member of the Props Department walked out the door with two puppets under his arms and a big grin on his face. He just loved his new job. It wasn't exciting, but it was definitely different.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Daniel wandered the lot looking for the Director's trailer. Like most men, he was too embarrassed to ask for directions. He was halted by a voice shouting, "Hey you!" Daniel frowned internally in annoyance and wondered if his name had been changed when he wasn't looking. His annoyance displayed externally with the flick of his ponytail and a facial twitch that made him look slightly crazy. When he turned, he was pleased to see that the Director had somehow found him. They exchanged information efficiently. Willie was informed about the inconsistencies with the set design, and Daniel was asked to bring the Asgard puppets to the meeting.

As they parted to address the concerns, Daniel hesitated. The Director asked, "Is there a problem?"

Daniel got into his role and replied, "No man." He walked purposefully away. He had decided that it wouldn't be wise to ask directions to the Props Department since he was supposed to work there. He continued his search by wandering around the set. As Daniel rounded the corner of a trailer, he noticed a familiar figure walking toward him. He stopped to intercept the man. "You play Daniel Jackson, don't you?"

Dennis Jaret looked closely at the unfamiliar Props guy and decided the man must be new. He smiled in greeting and stuck his hand out. "Yeah! Hi! I'm Dennis Jaret, but everyone calls me Denny. And your name is ...?"

Daniel grasped the hand warmly and looked closely at the actor. He released the clasped hand when he realized he had held on too long. "Um! It's a pleasure to meet you."

Denny grinned. He was used to the odd behavior from fans. He decided to tease the burly man. "Well, actually, until you tell me your name . . . we haven't exactly met yet."

The flustered archeologist placed a hand on his chest and stuttered out, "Oh! Where are my manners? My name is Dan . . . uh, Danny uh McKay."

The actor furrowed his brow. He couldn't reconcile the incongruity of this man's gentle words with his rough appearance. "You're new around here, aren't you?" At the nod of affirmation, Denny grinned. "Your hesitation gave it away. If you're going to survive around here, you have to look busy and purposeful . . . even if you're lost. Otherwise, they'll give you something to do."

Daniel's quick mind moved past this redundant information to ask his burning question. "How are you going to make this turn into a jungle? I mean, it's freezing out here."

With a quick grin, the actor replied. "Oh that part's easy. The hard part is acting like it isn't cold. Then I have to act like Daniel Jackson who isn't cold, who is actually baking hot in a jungle." He paused, then looked at his watch. "Please excuse me, I have to get going. I'm having trouble with one of my scenes." Denny didn't know why, but he felt comfortable in this man's presence – his soft vocal mannerisms somehow reminded him of Daniel Jackson. He made the split-second decision not to leave right away and continued explaining his problem. "I need to figure out Daniel's thought process in this scene before I can play it convincingly."

As usual, Daniel wanted to help. He also wanted to prolong his exposure to the man he might have been had he been born in this reality. "Maybe I can help." At the actor's dubious look, he explained, "I'm a really big fan of the show, and I can maybe give you some insight . . . that is, if you want it." Thinking quickly, he continued. "I've memorized the whole script."

Denny hesitated, then said, "Ok! I'm having trouble with Daniel's reaction when Dr. Lee crumbles under torture.

Daniel remembered this well. He had had trouble with his own reaction at the time. He tried to explain his thought process to the actor. "During the scenes with Dr. Lee, Daniel is the more dominant male. This isn't something he's used to because he's surrounded by military personnel. I mean, look at Jack and Teal'c . . . and even Sam. They definitely aren't soft. So, for the first time, Daniel is the alpha male on the mission. It's a new role for him." The archeologist looked to make sure he had Denny's attention before he continued. "At the same time, he is still a scientist. Though Daniel has had to act tough for the past five or six years, that scientist inside can't possibly be angry at Dr. Lee – for giving information while being tortured – for being human. Yet, at the same time, he realizes the importance of the information to Earth's safety, and he's . . . less than pleased. But he still identifies with Dr. Lee." Daniel stopped when he realized he had gotten carried away in his explanation. He tried to save the conversation. "Does that help?"

Denny was stunned. He wondered who this man was with the rapid vocal patterns that were so like Dr. Jackson's. "Um, yeah. As a matter of fact, it answers everything. Thanks." The actor reaffirmed his belief that you couldn't judge a character by his appearance alone. He sincerely repeated, "Thanks." As they started to part company, Denny turned around. "Hey! What were you looking for anyway?"

Daniel explained. "Oh, the Director asked me to get the Thor puppets from the Props Department, and I've lost my way back to it."

"Oh. It's that big truck right there with the dent near the top. But don't bother going there. The puppets are in Roc's trailer. It's over this way. Come on, I'll show you." The two walked together.


	13. Part 13

Turnabout is Fair Play – Part 13

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 24 – Lost in Space

Back in Roc's trailer, Jack was on his third episode of The Simpsons. He began pacing the small trailer in irritation and wondered where the hell his team was. He had started to get hungry, but he was afraid to eat or drink anything. The misplaced airman thought back to Danny 2's observation that there were no discernable openings in the Asgard body. 'How the hell am I supposed to . . . .' Jack shuddered as he thought of the implications. It's not like this topic ever came up in conversation with the Asgard. He would just have to go hungry for a while until Thor appeared. As Jack went to sit on the couch, he had a moment of extreme dizziness. He began panting rapidly as pain wracked his little body. With a squeaked cry, he collapsed to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Daniel and Denny arrived at the trailer shortly after Jack's collapse. A discreet knock on the door went unanswered, so the actor opened the door and shouted, "Hello! Roc, you in there?" There was no reply, so he entered the trailer and waved Daniel in after him. He knelt before the couch in front of one of the puppets. "Hello little fellow. You fell off the couch again?"

Daniel observed that this reddish puppet was different than any Asgard he had ever seen. He mused that it must be one of the differences between their realities. As the actor picked up the reddish puppet from the floor, he pointed out another, more typical alien prop. "Danny, can you get that one? Chances are the Director wants both versions." The disguised archeologist complied with the request and was surprised at the bird-like weight of the puppet. Though light, the gangly limbs felt awkward as he slung Loki's body over his shoulder. If it weren't for the presence of two puppets and Denny's blasé attitude, Daniel would suspect that this was really an Asgard.

Outside the trailer, Denny transferred the reddish doll to Daniel's other shoulder. The two new friends then continued on their separate ways. They didn't notice the small flash of light as the ornate box disappeared from the trailer behind them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The trip back to Roc's trailer took much longer than expected. There was a special group of fans on the set today and Roc was called over to speak with them briefly. Unfortunately, the brief speaking time was extended as he was asked to take various pictures and sign autographs. Always the gentleman, he graciously complied with the requests.

Sam pondered how Roc Flanders and Colonel O'Neill could be the same person; she didn't think the Colonel was capable of acting so politely when in a hurry. She wondered if some of the actor's finesse had rubbed off on the Colonel while they had shared a body. She looked over to Teal'c but couldn't discern his true thoughts from the little-girl features.

Teal'c was annoyed at the unnecessary conversation. The concept of signing a photograph was completely meaningless to him. He questioned how Roc could possibly write something meaningful for people he did not know. And why would they allow the actor to mar a photograph with writing? He disapproved of the waste of time and wanted to return to the mission.

Roc looked up as the group of fans dwindled. His gaze moved over to the two, waiting SGC team members. He caught the eye of the older woman and acknowledged her anxiety with a nod. Roc politely excused himself from the last group of fans to rejoin the mission to reconnect with O'Neill.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Jack slowly came awake, he realized that he was draped over something warm and soft . . . and he was moving. While his legs were anchored by something solid, his hands were free. Jack moaned softly as his head swung back and forth like a pendulum; the cranial pressure from the movement and position caused an unpleasant pounding. He opened his eyes cautiously and was just able to make out the upside-down word "Dept." in white letters on a black, cloth background. Jack deduced that he was being carried. He couldn't tell by whom, but he knew it wasn't anyone on his team . . . including Roc. Deciding that caution was the better side of discretion, he remained quiet.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Denny Jaret continued on his way, he noticed three people walking toward him from the opposite direction. "Hey, Roc! I see you got to meet about script changes. Great! Do you think we'll get to sleep before midnight tonight? We are so behind on shooting. Do you have time to run lines with me later?"

"Yeah, sure Denny." A devilish gleam appeared in his eye. "Den, have you met these two fine, young ladies?"

After some exchanged pleasantries, which were sparingly parsed out by Teal'c, the group parted company with Denny. The handsome actor turned back. "Oh yeah, Roc! I almost forgot. I ran into a Props guy who was looking for Thor. I hope you don't mind, but I let him into your trailer to get the two puppets. Ta ta!" He waved absently and continued on his way, so he didn't see Roc, Teal'c, and Sam look at each other for a split second before running back the way Denny had just come.

When the three got to the luxury mobile home, they discovered that the two Asgard bodies were gone. "Don't panic. We can always head them off at the meeting trailer."

Sam's face looked as determined as a doughy, matronly face could look. "Teal'c. Just in case, you go to the Props Department and we'll meet you back here." The Jaffa nodded once, then left the trailer in a hurry.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Daniel struggled with the awkward, floppy bodies of the two 'puppets.' The bodies were light, but the combined weight over a long distance made his burden seem heavier. Though the alien pendant made him look as burly as Teal'c, in reality he was struggling to hold what felt like two unbalanced sacks of flour with no good handholds. He feared breaking the fragile-looking bodies and walked cautiously to avoid banging their swinging heads together behind his back. Daniel rounded the corner and ran straight into another Props worker.

They looked at each other momentarily in silence before the real Props worker spoke. "Dude, where'd ya get those puppets? I just brought the two from Props to the repair shop. Like, are those new replacements?"

Daniel felt the two sets of Asgard legs that were anchored down the front of his body. The heat from the two bodies warmed his shoulders and back. He looked forward in puzzlement. Both eyebrows raised coolly in surprise as the reality of the situation dawned. He thought quickly. "Uhm, no. These are promo dummies. I need to get them back to where they belong. But, uh, they need the original puppets in the Director's trailer. Think you can bring them, man? Oh, and if you see Roc, tell him I'm bringing these back to where they started."

The newcomer sighed in good-natured disgust. "Hey, it's what they pay us for, right?" Daniel nodded in shared misery. The Props man walked back the way he came while continuing to shake his head.

After he left, Daniel hid himself and the puppets behind an empty trailer. He sat the two puppets on the ground. "Jack, is that you? It's me, Daniel."

The reddish puppet suddenly animated, opened its large eyes, and turned its head to stare into Daniel's amazed face. "It's about damn time, Daniel. I'm tired of being hauled around like a sack of potatoes. Big head is like a pendulum. I thought it was gonna explode."

The huge grin of amusement that spread over Daniel's disguised face looked almost feral.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Teal'c stalked his adversary carefully. Observers were amused by the little girl playing a game with the unsuspecting Props worker. The Jaffa planned his attack well and no one witnessed his skilled warrior movements as he snatched the real Asgard puppets and ran off, leaving the Props man stunned on the ground. The employee sat in a dazed stupor at the thought that he had just been mugged by a scrawny, pre-pubescent girl. He looked down at his beefy arms and wondered if he needed to work out more. The young girl had carried the heavy puppets away as if they were Raggedy Ann dolls. His sudden exclamation rent the silent air. "Crap! How am I going to explain this?" He stood up gingerly and brushed off his clothing. He tried to console himself. "I'll think of something on my way to the Director's trailer."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, Sam and Roc waited outside the Director's trailer in hushed anticipation. Roc began pacing. "We need to do something."

Sam smiled internally. "Uh Roc. Pacing isn't going to solve anything."

Roc grinned sheepishly. "I'm acting like O'Neill, aren't I?"

Sam's grin of agreement showed through her disguise.

"Well, I feel like I'm actually in an episode, so I can't help it."

They were interrupted by a burly man who was clearly in a hurry. He stopped dead when he saw the familiar actor before him. "You're . . . . I'm really pleased to meet you." He stuck out his hand blindly and almost punched the smiling actor in the stomach.

Roc skillfully reached forward to block and shake the proffered hand. "Hey, you didn't happen to see a couple Asgard . . . uh, puppets, did you?"

"Sir, I'm really sorry. I know I was supposed to bring them here. It's my first day on the job – I was just following orders – and now they're gone."

Roc firmly grasped the man's shoulders in an attempt to help calm the nearly hysterical man. "Take a deep breath. What happened?"

The Props guy looked ill. He mumbled, "I'm gonna lose my job for sure." He looked up with determination. His mother had always told him to respond with honesty whenever he was in doubt. "A little girl knocked me over and stole the two puppets." His face reddened in expectation of ridicule. He was surprised by the reaction of the show's star. Roc looked over to the elder woman and they both ran away. He was surprised by the agility and speed exhibited by the older woman. The Props guy reaffirmed his belief that you can't judge a character by appearance alone.


	14. Part 14

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Scene 25 – Finally Found

Meanwhile, back in Roc's trailer, Jack quickly filled Daniel in on what had happened since his capture. He periodically shot annoyed glances at Loki's body during his description of the events. Jack left out the part where he passed out because he didn't want to worry the archeologist – not that he could tell his friend's state of mind from Daniel's current appearance.

Jack paused suddenly to look more closely at the archeologist's appearance. His little, Asgard face puckered in puzzlement as he rapidly scanned the message on Daniel's t-shirt. With the distaste normally reserved for gold decoration in Goa'uld motherships, Jack asked, "So, Daniel! Who chose your cover? And more importantly . . . why? "

The door of the trailer was suddenly flung open and a teenaged girl bounded in with two Asgard puppets clutched under her arms. Daniel acknowledged the newcomer quickly to let Jack know it was safe. "Teal'c!"

O'Neill's eyebrow ridges rose and his tiny mouth opened in astonishment. "Who chose your cover? And why, I ask? Why?" He received no answer as he shifted his large, almond-shaped eyes between his two teammates.

The young girl looked down at the inanimate puppets held in her arms and then looked back at O'Neill.

Daniel helped the puzzled alien. "Ummm! This is Jack."

Teal'c's usual bow was transformed into a little-girl curtsy as he respectfully acknowledged the presence SG-1's leader. Then he silently placed the two puppets on the couch near Loki's body.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the Director's trailer, the meeting members waited patiently for the alien props to arrive. Willie, the Director, and Reed, a producer, looked out the window and spotted Roc and Sam running away from the Props worker. They turned to each other and mutually reached the decision to give chase. They were curious about what would make the show's star run with an elder woman in tow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Roc and Sam arrived at the trailer and bounded in the door. They surprised the occupants who were trying to find comfortable places to sit. The two real puppets were now sitting on the kitchenette counter. Loki was placed on the floor with his back wedged in a corner to keep him upright. Daniel and Teal'c took up the whole couch. Even though Teal'c looked small in his disguise, the laws of physics determined that no one could sit close to his larger mass. Jack sat at the small kitchen table with his feet extended off the edge of the high chair. As the door burst open, O'Neill tried to hide by collapsing on the chair into a boneless heap with wide, staring eyes.

Roc looked around the room and exclaimed, "Good, we're all here!"

Sam closed the door behind her and carefully looked around the room. She observed the two Asgard on the counter and quickly dismissed them; they were obviously puppets because they both had hardware sticking out of their feet. She knelt on the floor to look at the puppet in the corner, and then looked toward Daniel. He mouthed, "Loki." Sam moved to stand in front of the reddish Asgard who was sitting so still on the chair. She leaned over to look closely into the big, vacant eyes. "Sir?"

The puppet's glazed look became more focused as O'Neill cocked his head to the side and calmly looked at the Major. He attempted a long-suffering, deep, "Yes." But it came out sounding comically like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons ®. Sam was glad her disguise hid the face-wide grin she would normally be wearing. Then she noticed her image on a reflective surface was shaking with silent laughter. When she turned to Daniel for help, she noticed that her teammates were also shaking with silent mirth. Sam tried to salvage her CO's dignity by explaining. "Sir, Thor modified the mimic devices to simulate the expected emotions of the character we portray. Our . . . appearances in no way reflect our true emotions . . . except in an amplified way."

O'Neill managed to lift one eyebrow ridge and cocked his head to convey total disbelief in this explanation. Sam decided she might salvage the situation if she gained more control over her image, so she reached into her shirt to pull off the shape-shifting pendant. With a quick glance, she silently communicated to her teammates to do the same. As Sam pulled off the pendant, her doughy, passive features quickly morphed into the sassy, intelligent appearance of Samantha Carter. Her wide, blue eyes and clenched jaw betrayed her attempts to keep a huge grin off her face.

Though O'Neill's breathing hitched at the sudden closeness of his 2IC's beautiful face, he purposefully shook his head in disgust. He attempted to make his voice gruff. "Major, would you mind?" He waved the backs of his little hands in a familiar gesture to push her away from him because he was trapped in the chair by her larger body. Jack was disconcerted to notice that certain proportionally larger parts of her anatomy were very near his face, but had absolutely no effect on his current body. This lead to renewed thoughts about how he would relieve his bladder when the need arose. Loud knocking on the outside door interrupted his puzzlement.

"Roc, you in there?"

Everyone in the trailer froze as Roc looked up in question. The actor realized he couldn't ignore the greeting because it might allow the individual to come in anyway. It was an unspoken agreement on location that they could enter each other's trailers when necessary if the occupant wasn't present. Roc turned his head to the door and quickly yelled, "Yeah! Just a minute." He shrugged his shoulders and everyone got into place.

Sam was just about to re-place her pendant when they were all startled by a long, keening cry of pain. Sam quickly knelt in front of the chair which held her CO. The Colonel's eyes were glazed in pain and he was now panting rapidly. The worried Major was at a loss. She had no idea what to do for an injured Asgard. In fact, she didn't even know if he was injured. A moan squeaked from Jack's little throat before he lost consciousness and became motionless.

Sam had to look closely to see the rise and fall of the Colonel's chest. She had no idea where to check for a pulse. Her eyes widened as a possible explanation for her CO's collapse came to mind. Sam turned to see Daniel's startled face peering over her shoulder. "We need to get him to Thor as soon as possible. Do you have the communication stone?" Her request was met with puzzled, blue eyes. A throat cleared loudly on the other side of the room. Sam stood up in dawning horror. As she looked toward the couch, the man before her did the same. They were both met by a pair of resigned blue eyes. Sam turned back to the man near her. "You're not Daniel, are you?" The surprised actor, who had just entered the trailer, silently shook his head.


	15. Part 15

_A/N: Arella, Thank you for the feedback. I'm glad the story made you grin smile ._

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

/Previously on Stargate SG-1/

Sam had to look closely to see the rise and fall of the Colonel's chest. She had no idea where to check for a pulse. Her eyes widened as a possible explanation for her CO's collapse came to mind. Sam turned to see Daniel's startled face peering over her shoulder. "We need to get him to Thor as soon as possible. Do you have the communication stone?" Her request was met with puzzled, blue eyes. A throat cleared loudly on the other side of the room. Sam stood up in dawning horror. As she looked toward the couch, the man before her did the same. They were both met by a pair of resigned blue eyes. Sam turned back to the man near her. "You're not Daniel, are you?" The surprised actor, who had just entered the trailer, silently shook his head.

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Scene 26 – Eleven's a Crowd

From his ship in orbit around Earth, Thor monitored the two Asgard life readings. He noticed the typical readings on one of the bodies had remained stable, while the other's life readings had started to fluctuate in periodic waves. The wave patterns looked vaguely familiar, and he guided one of the thought-activated stones to verify his fears. Thor's little mouth wrinkled closed in disapproval. If what he suspected were true, they did not have much time to rectify the situation. He looked toward the body of his friend and ally, Jack O'Neill. The healing process was now complete and the body was waiting for its original occupant to resume residence. After examining the ornate, blue box transported from Flanders' trailer, Thor quickly deduced that it contained Loki's essence. Therefore, he assumed that O'Neill currently occupied one of the Asgard bodies. If so, he needed to bring the misplaced airman on board as soon as possible to return him to his own body.

Thor looked at the screen and was dismayed to see that there were now even more life signs near the two Asgard bodies in the mobile enclosure. In time, he would need to reveal himself if he were to save O'Neill. He sighed and waited. As Supreme Commander of the Asgard fleet, he was used to military thinking and military action. As a result, he did not do waiting well. That was probably why he had identified so much with O'Neill's impatience when they had first met. Thor was much older and had had more waiting time to perfect strategies of patience. But he still sympathized with his younger friend.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Back on the planet, the trailer had rapidly filled with the worried people who had stood outside Roc's door. The prolonged scream of pain had caused them to barge in to the star's trailer. The scene that met them was astounding. Two Denny Jaret's looked at each other across the room while the rest of SG-1's actors stood by. Four Asgard puppets littered the room. The Producer rounded on Roc and asked, "What are you doing with all these puppets in your trailer?" He turned to the Director. "I thought there were only two puppets in our budget. Are these others the new Asgard for the next season?" Willie shrugged his shoulders in numb ignorance.

O'Neill picked this time to regain consciousness. He was oblivious to the fact that behind his concerned Major there was a room full of people who were supposed to remain unaware of their presence. He croaked, "Carter. What happened?" He sat up taller in the chair and tried to slide off to the floor. But as soon as he put weight on his feet, he grasped his head between his hands and began collapsing in pain. Since Sam was the closest, she scooped his little body into her arms to prevent his head from crashing to the floor. "Sir! Sir!" She called more insistently when she received no response.

The exchange was not missed by Denny and the other two newcomers to the room. They stood in shocked silence. Since they were so pressed for time, Sam decided she would just have to explain the situation to the three newcomers later. "Daniel, please contact Thor and tell him we need his help now."

Daniel pulled out his opalescent stone. "Um! Thor, this is Daniel Jackson."

Thor's disjointed voice called out from the stone. "Dr. Jackson. I am detecting multiple life signs in your immediate vicinity. It is imperative that I transport Colonel O'Neill to this ship. However, due to the jamming devices you wear, I am unable to transport discriminately. Is it safe to proceed?" Daniel turned to Sam for guidance.

Sam looked at the newcomers thoughtfully before asking them, "Are you all willing to go for a little ride?" Three pairs of wide eyes widened even further. They looked at each other briefly, and then they nodded their heads as one.

Sam inhaled to reply to Thor's inquiry. But before she could vocalize, a squeaky groan startled her. She had forgotten whom she held in her arms. Sam experienced a wave of protectiveness toward her vulnerable CO. She unconsciously tightened her arms and looked down into his face with relief as he opened his eyes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As Jack awakened this time, he saw gorgeous, crystal-blue eyes looking closely into his face with relieved concern. He didn't know what had happened this time, but he just knew he was in heaven. So he let his head continue to flop onto the soft pillow near his face. He suddenly realized where he was and his face suffused with a deeper shade of grey.

Concerned blue eyes met his. "He's turning grey. Sir, are you OK?"

Daniel stood nearby with his arms crossed tightly. He released one of his arms and began gesturing between the Asgard and Sam. "Ummm Sam! He's . . . ." Daniel met Jack's eyes as the airman suddenly turned his disproportioned head away from Sam's body to glare threateningly. Daniel sealed his mouth closed as he replaced his arm into its tight, controlled embrace.

Teal'c decided to attempt an explanation. "Major Carter. Colonel O'Neill may be experiencing discomfort due to the proximity of your . . . ."

"For crying out loud! Would you put me down, Major."

"Sir, I don't know if you should try standing." Sam hesitated to obey the order, but the stubborn resolve on his face demanded that she comply or risk his wrath.

With a final glare in her direction, O'Neill felt his feet touch the ground. At the same instant, another wave of dizziness caused his legs to buckle. Luckily, Sam hadn't released him completely. She now hugged him to her body while she knelt on the floor. O'Neill was glad his face was no longer nestled in an uncomfortable place. His head now rested comfortably on Sam's shoulder while she helped support his weight. Jack didn't know what was wrong to cause his new body to weaken to this extent. In a daze, he pondered this question while enjoying Sam's scent with his Asgard heightened sense of smell.

As she sensed his long, drawn out inhale, Carter pulled back to look at her CO with concern. It was very unlike the Colonel to accept support so meekly. "Sir, Thor is ready to transport us to his ship. He said there was something wrong with the body you are in."

Equations and concepts flooded O'Neill's mind as the resident Asgard intelligence supplied information. "Yes, of course." He began rapidly explaining the situation to Major Carter, but she looked at him blankly. Belatedly, he realized that he had been speaking in Asgard. Jack translated the information into English, but was disappointed at the inaccuracy of the language, so he retained some of the Asgard words. "Basically, Loki used a base body from our reality, but he used DNA from Roc's reality. Then he rearranged both /indecipherable/ using Nirrti's machine. This caused an /indecipherable/ shift similar to what you experienced from Nirrti's machine. This body's DNA is breaking down into more basic components." When Jack realized that Carter's quick mind was still catching up, he helped her along. "Basically Carter, I'm on my way to becoming a gusher of water."

This last statement mobilized the blond Major. "Thor, just beam all of us together. We'll sort out the rest when we get there."

A rapid succession of Asgard transport beams illuminated the room. As the light dimmed, only the blank eyes of the two puppets remained to keep watch in the empty trailer.


	16. Part 16

Turnabout is Fair Play

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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Scene 27 – Home alone

Jack patted both his hands loudly onto his human stomach, and then gave a broad grin. "Oh yeah! It's good to be home." He swallowed a burp. "No offense Thor, but I like being able to reach things on the top shelf, ya know?" After a pregnant pause, O'Neill lightly touched his thumb and index finger to his mouth while frowning in thought. "Thor, I wanted to ask you something. You eat and drink, right?" He placed his arm on the alien's shoulder and led him out of the room to continue his question.

Daniel turned his head toward Sam and mumbled, "I think I liked him better when we could pick him up." She gave him a big, cheeky grin in reply.

"Major Carter?"

Sam jumped as she heard her name. She had forgotten about the four men from the Stargate set in her anxiety over the Colonel's health. Roc, Denny, Willie, and Reed stood in a far corner. She realized they had managed to stay out of the way while the Colonel's consciousness was returned to his own body.

The same voice called again. "Major Carter." It was Denny who had originally tried to get her attention. The blue-eyed actor fixed her with an intense gaze. "Do you have Loki in custody? Is Roc safe now?"

Roc faced the blond Major and gestured to his companions. "While you guys were busy, I, uh, filled them in on everything that's happened."

Sam nodded and smiled her gratitude that she didn't have to explain the events of the past few days. She turned back to Denny's familiar facial features and reminded herself that she wasn't speaking with Daniel. "Thor assured us that Loki is securely detained in the Asgard version of the brig." The four Stargate men and Daniel almost looked sorry for the little guy. She continued, "Don't worry, he's back in his own body. Thor assured me his long-term detention will be quite humane."

"Or is that Asgardane?" Sam shot Daniel a look of annoyance. He shrugged. "I'm just saying. . ."

Willie and Reed wore identical grins as they looked at each other in amusement.

Denny, on the other hand, grinned at his counterpart. Like Roc, he enjoyed watching the interaction between the real members of SG-1.

Roc innocently asked for more information. "Will Jack be ok? I mean, what happened? Why did he keep passing out?"

Sam decided to give an abridged version of Thor's explanation. "Thor said it was close for Colonel O'Neill. Loki's genetic manipulation caused defects in certain cellular membranes. The resultant ruptures caused significant hemorrhaging of cytoplasm with an increase in the volume of interstitial fluids. The body's inherent ability to phagocytize the waste was severely compromised. Since Asgard skin is anhidrotic the excess fluids caused intracranial swelling and pressure." She looked up to see a number of blank faces and realized that she had, once again, gone overboard with her explanation. Sam sighed.

"The pressure in Colonel O'Neill's head caused headaches and dizziness. The Asgard don't sweat, so extra fluid has nowhere to go. It ends up pressing on and damaging other structures in the brain since the skull is rigid. Fortunately, all the damage was done in the now vacant Asgard body. Colonel O'Neill's personality and memories were intact and were transferred back into his own body."

Daniel still looked concerned. "What about the parachuting accident?"

Sam continued, "The damage from the parachuting accident is completely healed. Colonel O'Neill's health may have actually improved from his state prior to the fall."

Reed, the Producer, looked at his watch nervously. "I hate to be a wet blanket, but now that Colonel O'Neill is better and Roc is safe, we really need to get back on location to finish up today's shoot. Roc is only with us for a couple days, so we need to finish filming this episode and his scenes in the next one."

Colonel O'Neill had re-entered the room in time to hear the exchange. "So you want to shove off?" He turned to Thor. "Are we ready to go back home yet?"

The Asgard replied, "The fluctuations that occur during the time of /indecipherable/ prevent accurate shift ratios. I am unable to compensate for those distortions without causing anomalous /indecipherable/."

O'Neill shifted his lowered jaw to one side. After a moment of silence he clarified hesitantly, "So . . . that would be a . . . no?"

"I am sorry O'Neill. But we will be unable to return to our reality until late tomorrow." Thor was also disappointed because he wanted to put this experience behind him and deliver his prisoner to Othalla.

Before the visitors to this reality could wonder about what they would do in the meantime, Willie waved his raised hand to get everyone's attention. "Uh! Excuse me. Maybe there is something you can help us with until you leave."

_------_

_A/N: This journey is almost at an end. Unfortunately, as I read through the last two unposted scenes, I felt my "Jack" was out of character. I apologize for the delay in posting the final parts, but hope you will be pleased with the end result. As always, my humble thanks for the feedback and support to continue posting._


	17. Part 17

Author's Note: I'm heading off to Vegas tomorrow, but will try to complete the last scene today to get off to beta. I have been toying with writing some 'deleted scenes' to add at the end. These are vignettes that didn't quite fit into the story, but seem to want to come out anyway. Are you guys interested? Should I do it? Anyway, Enjoy!

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Turnabout is Fair Play – Part 17

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). Excerpts from Evolution Part 2 – teleplay written by Peter DeLuise. I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

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_// Previously on Stargate SG-1_

"_I am sorry O'Neill. But we will be unable to return to our reality until late tomorrow." Thor was also disappointed because he wanted to put this experience behind him and deliver his prisoner to Othalla. _

_Before the visitors to this reality could wonder about what they would do in the meantime, Willie waved his raised hand to get everyone's attention. "Uh! Excuse me. Maybe there is something you can help us with until you leave." //_

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Scene 28 - Turnabout

Jack O'Neill stood amidst the chaos of the shooting location with an air of cool indifference. Darkened sunglasses hid his eyes while a blank face hid his emotions. Though the P-90 he had strapped near his chest was loaded with blanks, he leaned his hands carefully on the weapon as if it contained live ammunition. At 6'2" tall, he was an imposing figure, but the weapon and posture lent him an air of casual menace. As a result, the crewmembers gave him a wide berth. The military green BDU's marked him as separate from the t-shirt clothed crew. However, the interior of his borrowed uniform bore the stamp of the studio. To the uninitiated eye, O'Neill appeared to be uninterested and bored, but the members of SG-1 knew he was keenly watching his surroundings and learning.

Jack held the templerods of his sunglasses between the thumbs and index fingers of both hands; the shades hovered over his face while he looked up toward the sun. He then sat the glasses onto his face with finality and turned a face completely impassive of emotion toward the members of his team. They were all staring at him. "What?"

Sam had an incredulous look on her face. "Sir, aren't you nervous?"

O'Neill grimaced before responding with affront. "Carter, I've faced down System Lords with armies of Jaffa. I think I can handle this."

Sam nodded a reluctant affirmative. "Yes sir." The 'if-you-say-so' was left unsaid.

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The activity between shots resembled a determined colony of ants. In addition to normal traffic, it seemed that everyone on the set was finding an excuse to wander near the waiting actors. Word had quickly spread among the cast and crew that the real SG-1 was present, but the workers wanted to interact with the team to see for themselves. They were disappointed to know that Thor was too busy to be on Earth at the moment. He was a favorite character for many Stargate Series crewmembers due to his alien heritage. But there were many who considered O'Neill as their favorite, and some of them were presently watching the Colonel with fascination.

Jack kept his face partially hidden with the brim of his cap and leaned his back against the side of a trailer. He was again annoyed at the extra attention, but, unlike the cycling event, no one called out to him or tried to approach unnecessarily. He recognized members of the SGC who were entirely at home in this fake jungle set in the wilds of Canada. For instance, a serious Siler approached him – without appropriate military salutation – to give pointers on shooting the P90 safely, but then inexplicably left with the weapon. A grinning Walter had made a special trip from the Studio set to see SG-1 on location; he cracked jokes to an expressionless Teal'c the entire time he was there. Various burly men he recognized as Jaffa hauled equipment around on the set, but did not appear to be a danger. Many of them hurried past when they caught Jack's frighteningly intense stare in their direction.

Meanwhile, the rest of the members of SG-1 were busy interacting with the television crewmembers. Daniel had been enticed away by the writers to check on the accuracy of the Egyptian and alien cultures of future episodes. Carter was surrounded by Special Effects geeks who were asking her numerous questions about plausibility. Teal'c was coaching the stuntmen on Jaffa fighting techniques. Jack frowned when he remembered the attempts to question him about military strategies. Despite the 'entertainment' purposes for the requests, O'Neill's military training dictated that he keep those strategies a secret – they might save his life and the lives of his teammates someday.

O'Neill breathed a heavy sigh. The fake Jaffa were getting on his nerves and he felt naked without a weapon of some kind. He reasoned that the disappearance of his P-90 was a minor detail because it was loaded with blanks and would provide no protection anyway. What he wouldn't give for a simple knife in his boot. When he requested one, the confused Props worker informed him that it wasn't called for in the script.

After another more impatient sigh, Jack brought his attention back to the current scene which was almost ready to shoot. Roc was speaking with the actor who played Burke, O'Neill's former Special Ops buddy who had been posted to Honduras. The two actors were 'running' or 'practicing' their lines while the Stargate crew efficiently put finishing touches on the cantina set. The actors immediately moved onto the set when Willie called, "Places everyone." The set grew suddenly quiet just before a shout of "Action!"

Jack scowled as Roc and Burke 2 acted a scene from "Revolution Part 2." He would never get used to Roc's impersonation of him. Jack felt he didn't look that blank. He made a note to ask Teal'c – the Jaffa would give him his honest opinion. The real O'Neill turned his attention back to the continuing scene. He strained to hear the dialogue.

//Burke: You know why I got this crappy posting in this stink hole part of the world?

O'Neill: No! Here comes the blame. Are you gonna try and blame me now?

Burke: Yeah, I do. You could have stood up for me. Hilary left me. What do you think happens in a friendly fire incident when one team member gets killed and the other doesn't vouch for him?

O'Neill: I didn't see what happened to Woods. I told them what I knew. I wasn't gonna lie. I told them what I knew.

Burke: I'm not talking about lying. I'm talking about my head, you, me, Woods, we were buddies man. You knew me.

O'Neill: I told them what I knew.

Burke: Well, you didn't tell them enough.//

Jack was uncomfortable as this conversation from the recent past was replayed for the whole world to see; that whole world included SG-1. Jack worried that they would see his past action as a betrayal of trust. It was small consolation that his motives would be vindicated in future dialogue in this episode. He still didn't like his past revealed in such a public way. In fact, he didn't like his past revealed in any way. It didn't help that the information about the incident was classified. No one knew that his teammate had died by friendly fire. Jack suspected his superiors suppressed this information due to fear that Burke would reveal classified information that would have proven embarrassing to the government.

After a shout of, "Cut!" rang out on the set, the cameras stopped rolling. Willie explained to the Colonel what had happened and what was going to happen with the cameras, the lights, and the crew. The excited Director wanted to make sure Jack O'Neill knew everything he would need to know.

Willie wasn't sure the airman before him understood all the instructions he had provided because there was barely an acknowledgment from the grey-haired Colonel. Instead, he seemed distracted by the activity around him. The anxious Director followed as Jack lazily turned to watch the crane operator maneuver his camera to set up for the next shot. A blur of motion and a loud cry caused Willie to turn around quickly. He was startled to see Rachel, from Makeup partially dangling from Jack's grasp around her collar. Her eyes were widened with fear as she looked at Jack's cocked fist. The startled Director realized that the blur had been Jack reacting rapidly to being surprised from behind.

The airman quickly recovered control and mumbled an apology. As he reached forward to steady the frightened woman on her feet, she backed away with teary eyes while covering her mouth with one hand. Then she turned and ran from the scene while sobbing loudly. Before following, the remorseful airman muttered, "Ahhh, Crap!"

It was at that point that Willie noticed the dead silence surrounding him. Crewmembers who had witnessed the event milled around with open mouths. "I've never seen anyone move that fast before." "Me neither!" "She's OK, just scared." "Wow! That really is Jack O'Neill." Willie shared a grin with the camera operator before he exclaimed a heartfelt, "Cool!"

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An hour later, O'Neill sat like a statue while Rachel dabbed and brushed makeup on his face. Those who had witnessed the way he cajoled the frightened woman to return to work realized that the airman was tolerating this out of guilt. Willie was grateful for the turn of events because he had no idea how he would have convinced the macho warrior to wear makeup. He turned his face away and covered his mouth to hide his pleased grin. The rest of SG-1 had returned to their CO after hearing about the incident through the rapid grapevine present on shooting locations. They recognized the slight facial twitch and jaw clench that exposed the tight control the Colonel had over his emotions at this point. After Rachel completed her work, Jack turned to glare at anyone who might even think about teasing him.

Though Willie sympathized with the macho warrior, his job was to make everyone appear in character. It was ironic that the actor in this case was the character and should need no enhancement. "Jaaack! Without makeup //quotation marks in the air// 'Jack O'Neill' would look like a nervous and sweaty rookie. He needs to look confident. You need to look confident." O'Neill did not look convinced, so Willie continued. "Hey, Teal'c wears makeup and no one makes fun of him." They both looked over to the physically imposing Jaffa. Jack raised a disdainful eyebrow. Willie decided to change the subject and walked the Colonel over to the jungle set. "OK. Let's focus. Remember, you're worried about Daniel. He's with some pretty dangerous characters who might kill him before you get to him." Willie backed away while Jack and Bourke 2 began their purposeful trek through the jungle scene. The cameras rolled, and someone shouted, "Action!"

Jack kept his focus on how he had felt on the Honduran rescue mission. At that time, his memories had been filled with images of the murdered civilians he had seen on a previous trip to Central America in the 80's. He kept imagining those victims, but with Daniel's face. With such an intense focus, Jack found he easily acted his part while the unobtrusive camera operator filmed the action. Before he knew it, the Director called, "Cut! Great job, Jack." Next came the waiting game while the set designers shuffled the plants to make the small area look like another part of the jungle. They only had a limited number of exotic plants and animals to transform the forest into a jungle.

After the next scene, Willie wrapped his arm around Jack's shoulder and pulled him off to the side near Burke. "Jack, I know this is all new to you, but . . . loosen up. You don't have to play this scene so straight. You do tend to be a bit of a . . . smartass in your reality, don't you?"

Jack shrugged the arm off his shoulder in aggravation and stood straighter. "I don't care how you've written it. I'm representing the United States Air Force in front of . . . millions of viewers." He tugged at the neck of his t-shirt nervously with one finger. "I need to be professional."

Willie rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, the real Air Force fully approves of your behavior on the show."

Jack's eyebrows rose in surprise. "They do?"

Willie patted his back. "Just act like yourself." Jack nodded, but still seemed distracted, so the Director continued, "You're having trouble remembering your lines, aren't you?"

Jack warily admitted, "Yeah."

Roc happened to be watching while they set up his next scene. "Hey Jack! Just make it up. That's what I do." He received a pointed stare from Willie. Roc's voice got softer. "I'm just sayin!"

Burke 2 piped in to help the airman. "Hey, I don't mind playing the irreverent part. Jack, why don't you be the straight man and I'll play off of you. Just pretend you don't approve of my character." When O'Neill glared at him pointedly, the real actor widened his eyes. "Ooh! You don't approve of Burke for real, do you?" The silence was his only acknowledgment. "Well, OK then." The actor smiled widely while smacking his gum with an open mouth. He would happily play obnoxious in order to help O'Neill act annoyed. Willie directed everyone to get back into their places as the crew had completed their finishing touches on the plant shuffling.

It was decided that they would split the scenes in this episode between Roc and Jack. Those that required mostly action would be done by Jack, and those that required more skillful acting would be done by Roc. This meant that Jack would complete almost all the scenes with Burke. They had to finish all of Roc's location scenes today so he could begin shooting at the studio tomorrow. In order to save time, Thor had offered to transport both Roc and Jack early in the morning.

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The fact that they had two Jacks and two Daniels made shooting go twice as fast. Even though Daniel was not acting in the scenes, he was able to advise Denny Jarret and Willie on what had really happened in Honduras. Daniel's earlier advice had already paid off well because Jarret had been able to convey Dr. Jackson's conflicting emotions when Dr. Lee cracked under torture.

While getting the next scene set up, Jarret pulled Daniel aside. "Hey, I was wondering if you could help me with something."

"Sure. If I can." Daniel frowned and then raised his eyebrows as he realized the actor wanted more personal advice than he had been supplying.

They were both sitting in the abandoned cantina, which was now a dining area. Daniel was sipping from a large cup of coffee while Jarret munched on a plate of fruit and vegetables. "Remember when I said I was having trouble with the scene about Dr. Lee?" Daniel nodded. "Well, I've been having trouble with all the scenes. I'm not sure how to portray you anymore." Daniel raised his eyebrows in surprise. While crewmembers stared at the twin Daniels, Jarret quickly blurted his dilemma. "I don't want to portray you as you were before you ascended."

Daniel lightly rubbed his chin before responding. "Hm! That's good because I'm not the same person." The archeologist gave a quick, wide smile that disappeared off his face as quickly as it appeared.

Jarret was encouraged by the confirmation. "Help me find the character again. A lot has happened to you, and I know it's affected you, but I don't know how. The writers have given me some idea, but it needs to come from in here." The actor had placed a hand on his heart. "Who are you now and how did you change?" Jarret sat back and hoped for inspiration from the character he portrayed. He watched intensely as Daniel gathered his thoughts.

The thoughts assembling in Daniel's brain included pleasant surprise at the passion and thoroughness Jarret possessed for his craft. It made him proud of his alternate. Yet, at the same time, the conversation had a surreal quality to Daniel because Jarret was still made up as if he had been recently beaten. It was a grim reminder of his own torture at the hands of the guerillas.

Daniel raised intelligent, blue eyes to meet his counterpart's questioning gaze; he got the disconcerting feeling that he was speaking to his own image in a mirror. Shrugging of the sensation, he took a deep breath and began. "I chose to come back to Earth. For some reason, I was thrown out of . . . ." He gestured to the sky. Then he cringed while asking, "You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?"

Jarret smiled. "You tried to kill Anubis and Oma stopped you. It was pretty cool. You were about to kick some major Goa'uld butt because Anubis didn't hold up his end of the bargain."

Daniel sat back in relief. "I thought so." He pondered a moment before continuing. "Before I ascended, everything I knew about the universe had to do with Stargate Command, the United States . . . Earth! It seemed like I was always fighting with Jack to do what I thought was best. I thought I had an open mind then, but . . . ." He shook his head. His eyes looked outward but unseeing as he continued. "My experiences while ascended had to do with the galaxy, with peoples of the universe. I saw oppression and atrocities that are almost beyond the scope of comprehension . . . and I – could – do – nothing about any of them. I couldn't even help my friends when they needed it." His voice had softened and cracked as he remembered Jack's anguish at the hands of Ba'al and all the free Jaffa that had been slaughtered. Jarret waited for Daniel to get his emotions back under control. The actor inhaled sharply when hard, blue eyes with a conviction he had never seen reflected in the mirror turned to him. "I can do something now. I don't have to sit back with cosmic superiority while people suffer." The last was said with great bitterness. "Even though I have less power than when I was ascended, in my human form, I can do something. I can use what little I have to make a difference." Daniel's determined chin matched the resolve in his eyes.

Jarret had a moment to absorb Daniel's passion before they were both interrupted by a crewmember asking them to return to the set.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Cut!" There was silence as onlookers slowly processed the scene that had just been shot. Sporadic applause was mixed with various shouts of "You go, Denny!" The actor felt energized and powerful with resolve – a resolve that he had gained from Daniel Jackson.

Willie smiled widely. "I think you've got it Denny. You've found the character."

"Yeah! Or maybe he found me. " Jarret sought out Daniel's face and nodded his thanks. The scene had originally called for Daniel to sit helplessly and hopelessly at the base of a tree while a very angry Honduran guerilla threatened to skin him alive with a machete. Because of the guidance from Daniel, Jarret had strongly suggested that he grab a rock with which to defend himself . . . even if it seemed hopeless. The new Daniel would aggressively fight to the end.

Jack had also observed the scene. He waited for Denny to put on his jacket as the late afternoon air began to get chilly. The airman was impressed by Jarret's performance, so he shook the actor's hand while grasping his upper arm firmly with the other hand. "You did a great job. I thought you were actually Daniel for a minute."

Jarret was pleasantly stunned by the praise from the less-than-wordy airman. He responded in kind. "You didn't do so badly yourself. I thought you were actually Jack O'Neill for a minute." He received a trademark impressed smirk in response to his smartass comment. After wiping a very un-Daniel-like grin off his face, Jarret asked, "Jack, I've been meaning to ask you something."

O'Neill paused before responding with suspicion. "What?" He feared the question would be of a personal nature.

Jarret put his arm around the Colonel's shoulders. "Who do you think is gonna win this year's Play-offs?"

O'Neill was pleasantly startled for a second. He recovered quickly, then replied with a smirk as he jerked his chin toward the actor's attire. "I hate to disappoint you, but you bought the jacket for a losing team." They walked away to argue the winning and losing statistics of individual hockey players.

Sam and Teal'c looked at Daniel in surprise. The archeologist shook his head. "And I liked him. You can never tell about people." Roc smiled widely before quickly following the departing hockey fans. He shouted forward, "Hey, don't rule out the number one team from my home state."

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The Director looked happy as he watched the dailies. With the help of SG-1, namely Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson, they had almost completely finished shooting Part 2 of Evolution. He was amazed that Jack O'Neill seemed to have an innate ability to act on demand. He mused that it was probably because of his Special Ops experience. In any case, the only scenes remaining could be handled by Roc tomorrow at the studio. Willie walked away whistling happily.


	18. Part 18 Final

Turnabout is Fair Play – Part 18 - Final Scene

Author: Neiths Arrow

Disclaimer: The following characters are fictitious. They, in no way, make a statement about any real persons – especially since I have made up the names, histories, interests, personalities, and experiences (fictional 'facts) to suit my needs (as authors tend to do). Any similarity to real persons is just that – a similarity. The personalities are based on characteristics of people in Stargateland (MGM Television Entertainment). I don't own those characters by the way. I am not profiting from this story in any financial way. Please do not post this story without my consent.

As usual, THANK YOU DIANE for beta'ing!

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_Previously on Stargate SG-1_

_The Director looked happy as he watched the dailies. With the help of SG-1, namely Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson, they had almost completely finished shooting Part 2 of Evolution. He was amazed that Jack O'Neill seemed to have an innate ability to act on demand. He mused that it was probably because of his Special Ops experience. In any case, the only scenes remaining could be handled by Roc tomorrow at the studio. Willie walked away whistling happily._

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Scene 29 – Final Goodbyes

Since shooting was on schedule, Jack no longer needed to act in the scenes. As a result, he could observe the activity around him without having to be a part of it. For this day, he and the rest of SG-1 borrowed blue BDU's as this was the only color available from the Costume Department. The SG-1 team from this reality had taken the supply of green BDU's which were typically worn on missions. To the women on the set, Jack and Daniel cut quite stunning figures in the black t-shirts and deep blue jackets and pants. While the color set off the blue of Daniel's eyes, the dark colors accented the Colonel's silver-grey hair – which currently stood up on end in places, giving him the appearance that he had just woken up. When the brassy on-set hairdresser boldly offered to tame the unruly hair, Jack blinked incredulously and gave her a silent glare. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Daniel give a slight shake of the head, so she shrugged and walked away.

Jack sensed a disturbance behind him and turned to see a familiar figure in Air Force Dress Blues. The four stars on the shoulders would have normally sent a tense shard of discipline down his spine, but the Colonel, in the short time he had been in this reality, had conditioned himself not to react to the actors. Jack was amused to see Carter stand at attention to greet the 'General.' Seeing an opportunity to thumb his nose at authority without getting in trouble, Jack decided to take advantage of the chance to be irreverent to a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff – even though he was really just an actor. Jack sauntered cockily over to the General and slapped him informally on the back in greeting. "Hey buddy, how's it going?" Jack was amused at the wide-eyed look of horror on Carter's face. He smirked to her and turned to face the General.

The General was apparently a very good actor. The look of seething rage on his face would have made Jack quake in his boots if he were really a high ranking officer in the United States Air Force. Carter remained standing at attention as if her ultra military stance would compensate for her CO's court-martial-able behavior. "Carter, he's not real. He's just an actor. You're wasting a perfectly good . . . pose." Noticing the dead silence around him, Jack turned in time to see Willie hurry toward him. The Director had a look of impending doom on his face.

Sensing that something wasn't quite right, Jack turned back to the General with a sudden dawning dread. His cock-sure attitude faded into rarely seen doubt. He gulped as Willie made introductions. "Jack, I want you to meet General Hopper from the United States Air Force. He's a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He sometimes visits our set and appears in the show as himself to increase morale in the military. He flew in today to debrief with the real SG-1."

By this point, Jack was standing impossibly straighter than Carter. He shouted, "Sir!" His right hand and arm were locked into a crisp military salute. His face was rigidly set, eyes trained straight forward, and his chest barely moved from his rapid breaths. His entire stance screamed out, I'm-in-deep-shit-and-I'm-going-to-show-my-respect-in-hopes-of-redeeming-myself. When the General returned the salute after a very long pause, Jack brought his arm sharply to his side and remained at attention. Jack's eyes didn't move as Hopper walked around him. His eyes remained locked forward as the General stared his displeasure at the familiarity Jack had exhibited.

General Hopper finally spoke. "I don't know what they do in your Air Force, Mister, but in this reality, we show proper military respect due the rank of General."

"Yes sir!" Jack swallowed nervously even though his mouth was dry. He wondered if he could be disciplined in another reality. The airman decided he didn't want to take any chances, so he chose to err on the side of caution.

"At ease son, before you bust a gut. You too, Major Carter." Jack relaxed into a parade-rest stance. "Colonel, we'd like to know the reason you are here. And we also need to know if we are in any danger." The General began walking toward a secluded side area. His demeanor made it clear they were to follow.

Once out of earshot of the crew, O'Neill gave full details of how they had tried to thwart Loki's plans to kidnap Rocco Flanders from this reality. Carter provided the latest update from Thor on when they could return. After receiving reassurance that there was no longer any danger to this planet, the General smiled. "Good job, people." He turned his full attention on O'Neill. "Colonel, I want you to know you'll have the full cooperation of the US military to help you get home." He smiled respectfully at Carter. "Major, let us know if you need any specialized equipment. We don't have anyone with your level of expertise in alien technology, but . . . ." He smiled wryly. Carter beamed with pride at the unexpected praise and replied smartly. "Yes sir. Thank you sir."

Jack smirked slightly in empathetic pleasure that her role was respected in this reality as well as in their own.

The General turned to Jack and continued, "I just want you to know that the Air Force in this reality is proud of the way you and your team handle yourselves. Your dedication and sacrifice exemplify the bravery of our men and women in the armed forces. We couldn't ask for a more dedicated – though irreverent – example." Jack's face twitched at the left-handed compliment. Hopper continued, "Enlistment and morale have increased since the inception of this show. Keep up the good work." Jack and Sam stood up and saluted respectfully as the General stood to leave. He smartly returned the salute before turning to walk off the set. Jack's face followed his retreating back in wonder. He turned to Major Carter with a slight smile of pleasure at the compliment. The compliment more than made up for scaring the crap out of him.

Shortly afterward, through the open, rear window in his official car, General Hopper spoke into his government-issue cell phone. "Yeah, you should have seen his face. I think I scared the holy crap out of him." The window closed, shutting off the view of the General's widely smiling face as the car drove away.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As soon as Angela appeared on the set, Sam felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. The actress was gorgeous. She had a girl-next-door freshness and beauty that was accented with light makeup and what appeared to be a set of custom-fit BDU's.

Jack looked back and forth between the two women. He could tell from the look on Carter's face that he would have to tread lightly. He risked a quick glance at Daniel and Teal'c. They both looked as uncomfortable as he felt. If they greeted the actress too enthusiastically, they might insult Sam. If they didn't greet her enthusiastically enough, they would insult Angela.

The decision was taken from their hands as Angela walked smoothly up to Sam and stuck out her hand in friendship. "I'm so honored to meet you. I wish we could spend more time together." Her smile was genuine.

Sam smiled politely, but it didn't reach her eyes. She had questions for this bit of fluff who couldn't possibly portray a serious scientist and Air Force Major realistically. In her best 'superior-officer-in-the-United-States-military' voice, Sam challenged, "Do you know the slightest thing about astrophysics?" Her chin jutted out in challenge.

Without missing a beat, Angela continued, "That's why I wish I could spend more time with you. I was just reading the latest Physics Review Letters. Did you get to see where Baiotti and Rezolla challenged the Paradigm of Singularity Excision in Gravitational Collapse?"

Sam stood in stunned silence for a long moment before recovering quickly. "Actually, I was in the middle of reading it on the drive to Roc's house. If the theories prove valid, the possibilities are . . . stellar!"

Angela was secretly glad she had consulted with her knowledgeable friend, Livi, before coming to the set today. She continued her scientific charade. "I know! It presents an interesting theory, which could provide information on black-hole ringing and the gravitational-wave emission from collapsing stellar material as it transitions to a rotating black hole. I know!"

Jack's head began to spin as he remembered the long-ago meeting between Doctor Carter and Captain Carter their first year. He almost groaned out loud. Instead he mumbled, "At least Jarret isn't into archeology." Sam and Angela were now deep in conversation about . . . Stella's transmission. Carter had that fanatical look she got in her eye when hooked into answering an intelligent question. Jack shook his head in appreciation and wonder. He could tell that the wily actress had won over the Air Force Major.

Jack's hair stood on end as he felt the presence of someone near his side. Roc spoke quietly. "And you're surprised? Most actors have fantasies about meeting the character they portray. We have nightmares that the character wouldn't like our portrayal, so we tend to try to please the fictitious character when acting. Then we get labeled as 'temperamental' when we argue that the character wouldn't do that, or wouldn't say that. But to us, the character is alive. Angela spends a lot of time learning about astrophysics so she sounds like she knows the topic on screen.

Teal'c appeared on Jack's other side. "It would appear Major Carter is a formidable individual in any reality." Jack and Roc turned to the dignified alien. Roc smiled widely. Suddenly, the Jaffa's face broke into an uncharacteristic smile. He threw his head back, and laughed uproariously. The absolutely stunned look that overtook O'Neill's face was comical, so Roc joined in by chuckling in a rapid staccato. Terrence Gold couldn't force Teal'c's impassive expression back onto his face anymore, so he extended his hand in introduction to the Colonel. "Hi, I'm Terry. (grin) I play Teal'c on the show. (big teeth grin) It's good to meet you." The whole time, the big man was shaking Jack's hand so emphatically, that Jack's head bobbed in time with each shake.

Jack found his mouth twitching into an involuntary smile. This actor who looked just like Teal'c had a very infectious laugh. Denny Jarret and Angela Turner joined the small group with the result that Jack was surrounded by the alternate SG-1.

Terry playfully punched Denny in the arm as he asked, "Hey man, you gonna act anytime soon or are you gonna have Daniel Jackson do all your work for you?" His harsh words were softened by jolly laughter and a huge smile.

Denny jerked his thumb toward Roc. "Hey, you should be saying that to the Old Man. He's the one with the acting twin." He and Terry shot a teasing look back at Roc.

Roc defended himself. "Hey! I had a lot of scenes in this one, and I'm only a part timer."

Angela hooked her hands around Roc and Denny's elbows. "Now, now boys. Let's not fight or I'll have to tell General Hammond."

A disembodied shout that sounded suspiciously like the General emanated from the next room. "He won't care!"

With an impish grin, Angela exclaimed, "D'oh!"

Jack happily stood in the middle of the friendly antics. He watched the exchanges between the actors with the same enthusiasm he used when watching the Simpsons. With all seriousness, he asked, "Soooo! Is this show a comedy?"

The actors looked at each other and laughed. Roc responded for the group. "Sometimes."

Jack's head nodded with satisfaction. "Sweet!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The fun was soon over as the actors and crew had to return to work. O'Neill was as impressed with the studio as he was with the location shooting. It reminded him of the SGC where each individual had a job, but acted as a member of a team. Roc had just completed the scenes with 'General Hammond,' and the office had already been magically turned into Sam's lab. O'Neill grinned at his nervous 2IC.

Samantha Carter was almost hyperventilating in excitement and fear. With the insistence of the television crew and a bit of coercion from her real teammates, she had decided to try her hand at acting one scene. In this scene, she was working on electronic components when her CO comes in to tell her he is going to go rescue Daniel in Honduras.

The lighting designer did an excellent job of portraying Sam's dedication to her work by using a desk lamp to illuminate the electronics and part of her face in her darkened lab. During the shoot, Rocco Flanders couldn't keep the smile off his face at the excitement of acting opposite the real Samantha Carter. His smile was infectious and Sam couldn't help but respond in kind. It gave the scene a different impact than the scripted words attempted to portray. Though it didn't quite match the seriousness of the story, Willie guessed that there would be a fight if the editor tried to eliminate this scene from the final cut. Since most of the crewmembers were geeks, they had all already fallen in love with the brilliant Major.

O'Neill watched from the sidelines. He caught Daniel's eye and smiled. He watched the slight smile on Teal'c's face as well. It was no secret that half the men on base found the Major attractive. But that attraction was tempered with the respect she had earned with her intelligence and bravery. No one would risk the avalanche of crap that would come down on them from above and below if they marred her reputation with insinuation. The handpicked men and women who served at the SGC were a close-knit group due to the danger they faced on a daily basis. Anyone who didn't show proper respect to the females on base either changed or left. Jack was secretly pleased that Sam had 'let her hair down' to play in this reality.

The smile left his face when Sam protectively picked up the electronic component she had been soldering while being filmed and then handed it to one of the Special Effects guys. The man thanked her profusely. "Thanks Major Carter. This will help us a lot."

Jack boomed, "Carter! That wasn't real work, was it?"

Sam jumped slightly and wouldn't meet his eyes. "Well, sir. I needed a soldering iron and decided I could do some work while . . . ." She trailed off and bit her lower lip when she saw the look of incredulous disbelief on his face. Her blue eyes widened and she gulped. She had somehow annoyed her CO once again. She couldn't help her efficiency. Sam looked to Daniel for backup, but he turned his head away to look up at the ceiling. She would have to defend her actions on her own.

All of a sudden, an arm came between her and her CO, wrapped around her shoulders, and pulled her away. Roc's low voice soothed her, "Come on, Sam. We can go look at the results of our shooting from this screen." The actor's eyes dared O'Neill to continue harassing Sam. Jack looked around at the other protective crewmembers who suddenly surrounded Sam and realized it was time for retreat.

Teal'c came to stand beside him and folded his hands behind his back. He blinked in response to Jack's sigh of frustration. "Major Carter is very dedicated to her work. As are you."

Jack was puzzled by this parting remark until he realized that he had been casing the facility for defensible positions in case of attack. He blinked and scowled in annoyance at the Jaffa's retreating back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The final scenes that took place in the gateroom had just been completed and filming was done for the week. However, everyone was hesitant to leave. They wanted to spend as much time with the real SG-1 as possible. Rumor also had it that Thor was about to make an appearance. Preparations were spontaneously made for a party in honor of the real SG-1. The creative crewmembers devised entertainment for what promised to be a long afternoon of partying. As a bright light filled one corner of the room, the set became quiet. After the light dimmed, a lone Asgard stood at the base of the fake Stargate ramp. Willie couldn't resist. He walked up to the grey alien. With a humble bow, he intoned, "Welcome to Planet Earth."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Thor stood before the two puppets in complete silence. He leaned down slowly to look at the rod protruding from the rear end of one puppet, but then stood quickly with widened eyes of astonishment. He peered closely at the puppet's face while feeling his own face with one webbed hand; this left him in a posture reminiscent of Jack Benny. Thor's facial expression was unreadable to the people present. The puppet designer held her breath in fear that her work would be criticized. The gracious alien thoughtfully responded, "I congratulate you on your remarkable ability to portray my race so accurately with the limited resources available." There was a collective sigh of relief. No one had been sure if Thor would be offended by the likeness. The puppet designer and puppeteers were actually studying the live Asgard quite closely in order to accurately duplicate his appearance and movements in future episodes.

After a dinner of pizza and beer, the puppeteers staged a comedic demonstration of their skills by having the actors interact with the puppets. Sam was appalled at their antics. Jack actually laughed out loud, while Daniel pursed his lips in an attempt to prevent a smile. Teal'c looked puzzled. He questioned, "I do not understand why Thor would want to touch Major Carter in such a way." Thor appeared oblivious to the interaction and went over to speak with the puppeteers to suggest improvements for next year's puppet design.

After the play was over, Roc and Jack met for their final good-byes. Jack looked a little uncomfortable and the actor wondered what was on the airman's mind. O'Neill rubbed his thumb lightly over his lower lip a couple times before pulling Roc into a more secluded corner. "Hey listen. I, uh! What you did back there when we were parachuting . . . . I never, um! What I'm trying to say is . . . ."

Roc's head lifted in understanding, and he smiled. He helped the tongue-tied airman out. "You're welcome."

The Colonel looked up in relief. He smiled and nodded his gratitude that he wouldn't need to complete the sentence. Jack felt surprisingly comfortable that Roc understood his character so well. He suspected that they shared many characteristics.

Roc changed the subject as they both prepared to part company. "Hey, too bad you can't stay for the next episode. Here, I made a copy of the script for you. It's called 'Grace.' " Roc's face made it seem like this should be significant to Jack. The airman's curiosity rose higher when the actor continued, "Don't let Sam know you have it."

Jack took the script in puzzlement. But in the short time he had known the actor, he had learned to trust his judgment. "O-kaaay!" He placed the script in a backpack they had loaned him from the set. "Roc, um! Got a question for ya. I hear you picked out the disguises for the rest of my team. I was wondering why you picked out those particular disguises."

Roc seemed to ponder this question before answering with a straight face. "For my own sick amusement."

Jack was silent for a moment. Then he slapped his cohort on the back and gave a large, smirky grin. He throatily exclaimed, "Yeah! That's my man."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the remaining time they had in this reality, Jack decided to interact with his alternate team members as much as possible. So he initiated a conversation with a very willing Angela and found the exchange gratifying. He felt an instant, platonic friendship with this woman. He had always wondered how his friendship with Samantha Carter would feel without the superior to subordinate barrier necessary due to their roles in the military. With the actress, he had a semblance of an answer. Jack studied Angela while she spoke and prompted her by joking and lightly flirting. He found she had a warped sense of humor and a big, goofy smile. This was a Carter he had never imagined. He suspected that the actress was a big fan of The Simpsons. Jack vowed to get his own version of Carter to wear such a big, goofy smile. Meanwhile, he would enjoy the spectacle for as long as possible.

While Jack's back was turned, Roc went over to speak privately with Thor. "I wonder if you could do me a favor before you leave?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Present day

Jack stood in his overcrowded garage. The most recent addition to his collection had remained in the same location as the day he had discovered it there. The constant excitement of his life as a Colonel had left him little time to play. However, now that he was a big, bad General and didn't travel through the gate, he needed an outlet for his excess energy. He picked up his cell phone and dialed a number he rarely called. After a few rings, the phone was answered. "Hey Siler. Got a question for ya."

- - - - - - - -

The guards at the front gate waved to the General and Siler as they rode their bicycles out of the mountain. The General had quickly become accustomed to the bicycle that had been custom made to his frame . . . or rather, Roc's frame. There was no way he could have afforded the sleek, professional bicycle with his military pay. The bicycle had been transported to his garage along with various equipment and a cryptic note from Roc which read, "After your prolonged vacation in the cold, you'll need this so you won't get old." Apparently, the actor thought he was a poet and he thought he was funny. Obviously, the cold referred to his time in the Antarctic. Either way, Jack was grateful for the outlet. All the trauma his body had experienced over the years made the need for a low-impact, easily transportable sport necessary to keep in shape while being transformed into a desk jockey.

Jack and Siler made it a practice to ride at least three times per week. The Sergeant had remained in shape all these years by cycling even though he didn't go off world. He was a wealth of knowledge about cycling and the best routes in the area. It also satisfied the SF's and Walter that there was a seasoned airman to watch over the General. Jack looked over to his riding partner with an evil gleam in his eye. He stood up in his pedals and shifted to pedal away from him quickly and unexpectedly. Siler responded in kind. The two guards watched as the two airmen disappeared quickly into the setting sun.

The End

-sg1--sg1--sg1--sg1--sg1--sg1--sg1

_References:_

Thank you Kathleen Ritter for references. Ritter, K. "Stargate SG-1: The Ultimate Visual Guide." (2006) DK Publishing, New York

Baiotti, L. and Rezzolla, L., ­"Challenging the Paradigm of Singularity Excision in Gravitational Collapse" Phys. Rev. Lett. 97, 1441101 (2006). They completed their research more quickly in the alternate reality (smile). Thanks Livi and hubby!

WiseGeek, "What is Freeflying?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Author's Note: Thank you all for joining me on this journey. I hope you have had as much fun reading it as I have had writing it. I apologize for any liquids snorted out of your nose or onto your keyboards. It was purely intentional, though regrettable. (smile)


End file.
